My ability to remember is gone. Last night my husband was trying to cheer me up so we sang some karaoke songs together. After the first song, he asked me what else I wanted to sing.
I was trying to remember the words of the song I liked and could only come up with a small part of it. He said, Bev, do you mean. . . (can't remember it still!) and I said I think so. He said we just sang that! I argued so he played it again and sure enough we had just sang it.
That was scary. about a week ago something similar happened. I was standing at the door looking at the dog who was waggin his tail at me and I could not remember how I got there, if I had just let him in or if I was just going to let him out!
I find myself becoming irritable at little things. I have to control myself to not lash out at the innocent bystanders. I also cannot tolerate anyone trying to explain something to me because everything is way too complicated and why bother to learn something you will forget in 10 seconds! I have lost my motivation and feel detached from everything, like my head is literally losing its contents. It is depressing.
I get a lot of headaches and my eyes are a mess. I have the other neurological symptoms but they come and go. I have cramps, spasms, chills, pins and needles, dizzyness. . . . What stays with me is not feeling completely here - the fog, the red eyes and the headaches. I take so much imetrex for headaches that I now order it from India.
I am really worried that I will never be the same. I write because it is good to be able to piece the letters into words and words into sentences. I have to proof read over and over to correct spelling, typing gone awry and finish thoughts that evaporated. But under it all, I still exist, I hope.