Sexual Frustration? Lymie Dating?

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SickInCT
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 1/31/2009 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
So am I the only sexually and emotionally frustrated Lymie out there? Is there some kind of Lymie dating website or something? Like many of us I can't really maintain a normal relationship with someone who is not disabled because it's really hard to find anyone that will be understanding of my situation or lack of energy to go out all the time. I really wish there were a Lymie dating site for single lymies. idea


It's just so hard to explain to a girl that I did not call them back because I was too tired from stayin up past my Lyme bed time the night before. Since I look so healthy if I do tell them I am sick they just think im wierd or making it up. smilewinkgrin


Eric

Post Edited (SickInCT) : 1/31/2009 11:30:26 AM (GMT-7)


SickInCT
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 1/31/2009 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
okay I guess not smilewinkgrin

LupnerRN
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 350
   Posted 1/31/2009 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow Eric,
I can't even imagine being in the dating scene with this crap!! You definetly have my best wishes and prayers your way. Actually, that's your best bet. To pray for the right person to come into your life right now.

Maybe you ccould carry a Lyme brochure around with you to give to all your dates? No....that'll make'em run quick.

I encourage you to start a website, or forum here for dating! Anything is possible.. right ? !

Good luck
Lisa
11/07 symptoms start
7/4/08  IGenX LD positive,gluten sensitivity,low magn, low WBC's,+yeast/bacteria/tapeworm/roundworm, EBV,HHV,CMV,Parvo,
7/25/08 started on Biaxin
9/08 IGenX co-infections neg, but probable Bart, Bab, Erhl
11/08  Biaxin,Plaquenil,Cipro, Artemisinin,3 probiotics,Transfer Immune, Bcomplex,MultiVit,omega3,magnesium,
1/29/09  Added: Rifampin 600mg- Ehrl, Lomatium 15dropsBID-parvo, andrographis 15dropsBID (super yuck!)-LD, Alinia-cryptosporidium.   


Dowa
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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1120
   Posted 1/31/2009 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   

I have thought about this alot. I know a number of people that have ended their relationships due to being "misunderstood." It would take an incredibly unselfish person to understand all that we go through with this illness (and others). I often wonder how I would let someone into this "world" without it having a negative affect on their own life. I mean, our futures are questionable and I guess they would have to understand that we need to take one day at a time.

On the other hand, no one (including me) wants to think that they will be alone forever because there is no such person out there. How sad that would be. A Lyme dating service, I think that would be great. I mean, at least we would all know what we were getting ourselves into! (:   D 


SickInCT
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 2/1/2009 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
That's my problem if you tell them you have Lyme they just get all wierded out. It would be about the same reaction if I told them I had aids or something lol. If we had a Lyme dating site we wouldn't need to worry about people understanding the circumstances. I am too sick to date too but I would love someone that could be with me and love me for who I am.

The fact is I know that im going to have Lyme for awhile, possibly even the rest of my life. I really can't see just having to be single the rest of my life just because I have Lyme!!

Tallison
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 417
   Posted 2/1/2009 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   

Yes, it is certainly very hard, maintaining some normal semblence of a social and love life.  I like it, a lyme dating site... :-)

LOL, 'my lyme bed time'.  Know what you mean, I feel like I'm 80yrs sometimes.

This struggle with 'But you look so good, you can't possibly be so ill' is something I think about often.  A few times I have told (traditional docs) that I wish I had a goiter or tumor to show.  Of course they thought I was nuts.  I do believe that that was when a doc told me that my positive spinal tap meant nothing and handed me a bottle of Cymbalta.

Tracy


Tallison
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 417
   Posted 2/1/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi SickInCT,

Forgot to ask you if you know there are some support groups in CT, are you linked with any of them?

As an aside, there is an upcoming speaker at the one in Greenwich this Thursday.  If you are close and want details, let me know.

alfers
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 2671
   Posted 2/1/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey SickInCT,
I definitely know that feeling. I have a wonderful boyfriend now, but for a long time I was trying to date with lyme. I found that it got better when I started to get better. I could tell people about it but make it sound like it wasn't consuming me, like it was more in my past ("I was really sick for a while, but I'm mostly better now..."). If I tried not to make a big deal of it, I found it was easier for people to handle. I mean, almost everyone has some kind of medical story. Then, when it got a little more serious, I would maybe let them in on how much lyme affected my life...but not until I knew they could handle it.
Lyme and co-infections since approximately 2002. Diagnosed in 2005. Treated for two years solid. Diagnosed with Lymphomatoid Papulosis in October 2007. Currently back on abx.

Moderator for Lyme Disease forum


Chris L
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 189
   Posted 2/1/2009 3:44 PM (GMT -7)   
This was a interesting thread to read. Having someone is actually a double edged sword. Even at their best (they love you and care for you completely (my wife!)) you are always going to have hard feelings when they (the closest person to you) can't understand your pain all the time. Then you will always feel bad that they can't have a normal life because of your limitations. I couldn't even imagine what life would be like if my wife had lyme too.

What we really need is a complete treatment care center just for lyme. You check in, live with other people with lyme and coinfections, work with doctors to get better, help researchers get more definitive information for treatment, have a lyme friendly cafeteria, go to daily support groups. Could you imagine the research information that could be gathered if doctors and scientists had 200+ lyme patients at a time to draw info from? Oh and you single people could find a date. ;)

I play the larger jackpot lotteries for this reason....seriously.

Dowa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1120
   Posted 2/1/2009 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Thats a great idea Chris, a Lyme Community. I also have MCS and they actually have communities for people with MCS, and they have their own land, stores, gardens, etc and all suffer from MCS. A LYme Community would be great, then us single Lymies would not feel so alone. Lets do it!  D

Chris L
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 189
   Posted 2/1/2009 6:35 PM (GMT -7)   
OK! Now we just have to hit the lottery! : 0

Dowa
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Date Joined Sep 2008
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   Posted 2/1/2009 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
No kidding. (:

Korissa
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 356
   Posted 2/1/2009 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm thinking, there are a lot of other diseases and conditions on Healing Well that could benefit from a dating service, so am wondering if the board could somehow link to a site for this purpose.

I mean, a person with lyme would be understanding of a person who has MS or fibromyalgia, etc.

That way there would be more people than just lymies. But another lymie would be ideal!

susan1122
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 2/1/2009 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Great idea, Chris!!

I met my husband when I was sick. I was bitten (for the 2nd time) a few months before we started dating and I just got sicker and sicker. He stuck with me and we've been married almost 12 years. 3 years ago we found out he has Lyme disease, too an probably got it before we met. My symptoms are worse...that's how his hid so long. He has really taken care of me in a lot of ways...and when he feels terrible I am so happy to be able to help him.

I really think we meet the people we are suppose to. And there are people we are suppose to be with. I don't think it was a coincidence that I met my husband. Hang in there. It will happen. It's hard to be lonely and hard to wait. But it will happen.

Thea_ls
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/2/2009 8:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Or we could have a thread here...

Hey boys,
28 yr old female
Minnesota
No kids
Never married
4 yr degree
exotic looking
wink wink, wink wink


No? nothing? really? shoot. lol

Post Edited (Thea_ls) : 2/2/2009 8:34:54 AM (GMT-7)


Martha's Vineyard
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1119
   Posted 2/2/2009 6:54 PM (GMT -7)   
haaaaaaaaaaa EGB.CT...good for you.
Hey well I have some pointers. First if you want to have fun dating yet not have to get out of bed for it...go on match.com or whatever site you can find...and wink at people. Then have many converstations going on with others and weed out the jerks. Then go from letter writing to the phone. This again is easy to do from the bed...lol
And you will be considered not such a loser of you don't write back every single day..
Then after you get a dialoge going with someone you like...finally meet them for a drink..and go with a barf bag if you have to. Screaming migrain aside...
Then do not complain about how sick you feel...first they have to like you to give a darn...darn. Then go back to the love letters..and the phone...and meeting again.
But I would not advise dumpig all of your medical stuff on someone upfront.
I have found that men did not care if I was the walking plaque...lol. I would tell them what I had and they would look down my shirt and say....you look good to me. They did not care that lyme could be sexaully transmitted, and they were willing to take their chances..lol
First a girl has to like you...and see that you have a good heart..then she has to like your smile..and then you have to be a good kisser..ha.
Then if you take it slow..cause you are sick....she will think that you respect her....lol
It is a numbers game. Most women are very nurtuing. So that is better for you. My new boyfriend liked it that I could not get out of bed...lol
Most have told me that I am like that movie 51dates or something. Because I do not rememebr anything from day to day. Look at the bright side. You don't look sick. So use that to your advantage. And try to fake it some at the beginning...
My boyfriend only now knows how sick I was. The panic attacks and nightmares and bed sweets and the mirgraine should have been a hint..lol
But now he is happy that I can go to dinner and walk outside. Oh and that now he does not have to hold my hair while I am throwing up...lol
2004 in Martha's Vineyard me and my two daughters then 11 mos and 6 all got Lyme Disease. This was only known to us because we found the tiny ticks on us and we got very ill. My dog also got lyme and he went lame.
We have fought it for 4 years to no avail.
We all got it again this summer is Texas.
I am now in treatment in Scottsdale Arizona at Envita.

"The eyes cannot see for for what the mind does not know."


Dagger
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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 2/2/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Tallison
I used to go to a support group in Greenwich about 16 years ago. They saved my life. The people there recommended a great doctor that treated me until I became functional again.


Be careful who you date. I ended up with a jerk that took advantage of my illness. He tried to keep me sick and dependent so I'd stay with him. When some of my brain cells kicked back in, I was able to support myself and my kids, and I moved out. I ended up meeting a great guy who's there for me in sickness and in health (well, less sickness).

SickInCT
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 2/2/2009 7:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Thea_ls said...
Or we could have a thread here...

Hey boys,
28 yr old female
Minnesota
No kids
Never married
4 yr degree
exotic looking
wink wink, wink wink


No? nothing? really? shoot. lol


how far is minnesota from CT? Hows the weather?

27 M
CT
No kids
Never married
no degrees but I am a pro mechanic, fabricator, welder and all around handy guy!
handsome, clean cut



smilewinkgrin

scorpio1960
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 2/2/2009 8:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Fantastic idea! Sign me up for the lyme community. lol Right now, I'm not even well enough to think about dating but hopefully that day will come again.

Tracy Will
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Seriously, there is a dating spot for Lymies!
 
On www.lymefriends.com there is a group called LymeEHarmony.  Join the site and join the group.  It's a new site, only up for two months, but has over 600 members already and 12 or so in LymeEHarmony so far.  Lots of other good stuff too!

susan1122
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 2/2/2009 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tracy! Thanks for inviting me to be your friend on Lyme friends. : ) I'm Sue in WV.

Martha's Vineyard
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1119
   Posted 2/2/2009 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Two people sick with lyme does not sound fun to me. I am so glad that my man did not catch it from me. I need someone to lean on now. I am not able to carry any more.
Supporting friends with lyme yes. Dating a man with lyme.....oh gosh. Then I would get it again.
2004 in Martha's Vineyard me and my two daughters then 11 mos and 6 all got Lyme Disease. This was only known to us because we found the tiny ticks on us and we got very ill. My dog also got lyme and he went lame.
We have fought it for 4 years to no avail.
We all got it again this summer is Texas.
I am now in treatment in Scottsdale Arizona at Envita.

"The eyes cannot see for for what the mind does not know."


alfers
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 2671
   Posted 2/3/2009 7:06 AM (GMT -7)   
This thread is too funny! Tracy Will, I didn't know about that website - I just joined! (but not the dating part - my bf wouldn't be so happy about that! :) )
Lyme and co-infections since approximately 2002. Diagnosed in 2005. Treated for two years solid. Diagnosed with Lymphomatoid Papulosis in October 2007. Currently back on abx.

Moderator for Lyme Disease forum


SickInCT
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 2/3/2009 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Tracy Will said...
Seriously, there is a dating spot for Lymies!


On www.lymefriends.com there is a group called LymeEHarmony. Join the site and join the group. It's a new site, only up for two months, but has over 600 members already and 12 or so in LymeEHarmony so far. Lots of other good stuff too!



WOW!!! THAT SITE IS AWESOME!!!! THANKS!! smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin

All the patients from under our skin are there including some of the doctors and the chat is hoppin!

Thea_ls
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/3/2009 10:40 AM (GMT -7)   
That site is pretty cool. I had to join too.

Eric,
How far is MN from CT? Far lol
How's the weather? about -15*F lately :P
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