Hi Deftones, welcome to the board!
I am very sorry about what you and your ex have been going through. I think it is great that you are so supportive and want to understand the disease.
Below is a Lyme symptom list. There can be any combination of symptoms.
Unexplained fevers, sweats, chills, or flushin
Unexplained weight change--loss or gain
Fatigue, tiredness, poor stamina
Unexplained hair loss
Testicular pain/pelvic pain
Unexplained menstrual irregularity
Unexplained milk production: breast pain
Irritable bladder or bladder dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction or loss of libido
Change in bowel function-constipation, diarrhea
Chest pain or rib soreness
Shortness of breath, cough
Heart palpitations, pulse skips, heart block
Any history of a heart murmur or valve prolapse?
Joint pain or swelling
Stiffness of the joints, neck, or back
Muscle pain or cramps
Twitching of the face or other muscles
Neck creeks and cracks, neck stiffness, neck pain
Tingling, numbness, burning or stabbing sensations, shooting pains
Facial paralysis (Bell's Palsy)
Eyes/Vision: double, blurry, increased floaters, light sensitivity
Ears/Hearing: buzzing, ringing, ear pain, sound sensitivity
lncreased motion sickness, vertigo, poor balance
Confusion, difficulty in thinking
Difficulty with concentration, reading
Forgetfulness, poor short term memory
Disorientation: getting lost, going to wrong places
Difficulty with speech or writing
Mood swings, irritability, depression
Disturbed sleep-too much, too little, early awakening
Exaggerated symptoms or worse hangover from alcohol
Lyme disease and some of the medications that treat it can cause depression in some people. It can also be difficult to handle the losses these diseases can cause. Is she being treated by a knowledgeable doctor? Has she told her doctor about the depression she is having? This can be helped.
Besides Lyme, ticks can also transmit several co-nfections including Babesiosis, two types of Ehrlichiosis (HME & HGE), Bartonella, and Mycoplasma. Many people who have Lyme are co-infected. It may affect treatment choice and progress. It is important to be tested for these by a Lyme reputable lab such as IgeneX in Palo Alto, CA. Has she been tested for these? When multiple infections are present, symptoms of each can be more severe. Lyme and one of the co-infections can cause rage in some people.
Are you familiar with the Jarisch-Herxheimer Reaction (herx)? Often when people who have Lyme take antibiotics, their symptoms become worse or they get new ones. When the antibiotics kill the bacteria toxins are released making them feel sicker. It can be scary, but it shows the antibitoics are working. Although it can vary individually, many people experience this at the beginning or change of treatment and every three to four weeks. It is important for her to do things to strengthen her immune system and detox.
During treatment, it is good for her to document her symptoms daily. One way to do this is to list the main symptoms she has each day with a numerical rating of their severity from 1-10. Over time when she reviews this, she can see when her herxes occur and how she is responding to the meds.
It is also important to learn as much as possible. I recommend reading Dr. Joseph Burrascano's 2008 Diagnostic Hints and Treatment Guidelines For Lyme and Other Tick Borne Illnesses at http://www.ilads.org/lyme_disease/B_guidelines_12_17_08.pdf He is one of the top Lyme doctors in the country, and many Lyme doctors follow his protocols. I also recommend the books "The Lyme Disease Solution" by Kenneth B. Singleton MD and "Everything You Need To Know about Lyme Disease Second Edition" by Karen Vanderhoof-Forschner.
Again, I think it is great you are so supportive. You may want to tell her about this site, it is a great place for support and information. It is so important for people to know they are not alone. It can take time, but with proper treatment she can get better.