Posted 5/11/2009 3:25 PM (GMT -7)
When reading this thread some memory came up: some time back there was always this one question "are you ok ???? " from my family, waiting for me in the morning like a hammer to fall on me. ... no, I was not; I was not ok, trapped somewhere with something that made me feel sick, sick, sick, tired like crazy, sad, broken down, hopeless, like getting destroyed by something invisible. I did not know that it was Lyme but my skin manifestation started around this time; I had so many fights with my husband about this question and my rage which was mostly my answer, but I felt incredible lonely inside, knowing my life was drifting away from the others and I could not explain it. We shared so many tears back then; he knew I was not fine and helped me so much but we both had no real clue at that time.
Yeah, the mornings always sccared me most; I was crying every morning for nearly a year before I was able to get out of bed; I remember it very well - when I woke up slowly, got my thoughts together, and then this feeling came... a feeling of such an incredible emptiness and such an incredible desire to flee from this, to run away, to escape but I knew the threatening thing was inside myself - I always broke out in tears and cryed. I had the feeling that I could not do anything for me, that I just could not help me. I never had experienced that before. I thank God that I was already an adult person when this was hitting me, imagine all the children who have to go through such horror !!