When one's health deteriorates rapidly, there is a grieving process - you have to grieve over the loss of your health. Grief has stages - I don't know all the stages, but I know sadness is normally experienced as part of this process before acceptance can be achieved. I know because I've been in some pretty dark places in my life and it can be overwhelming.
Your job right now is to be the best "you" that you can be. That's it. Don't try to be someone you can't.
If you can, try to find something positive every day to think about
. And you might want to consider looking into finding a counselor or social worker who can help you through this difficult time.
I hope this helps - take care,
Chronic Lyme Disease, Gluten & Sulfite Sensitivity, Many Food/Inhalant/Medication/Chemical Allergies & Intolerances, Asthma, Gut issues (dysmotility, non-specific inflammation), UCTD ("Secondary Lupus-Like Syndrome"), Osteoporosis, Pancytopenia, chronic malabsorption/malnutrition, etc.; G-Tube; Currently TPN-dependent.
Meds: Zofran, Pulmicort, IV Ceftazidime, Heparin (to flush PICC line), Claritin, Colloidal Silver (used topically), probiotics, homeopathy.