Suicide due to Lyme disease symptoms - hypersensitive hearing

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JELAINEP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 2017
   Posted 5/18/2009 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Sad..... we've all been there.  This lady committed suicide as a result of overwhelming Lyme disease symptoms:
 
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.  - Margaret Meade
06/00- The beginning, 08/01-LD positive, 10/01- Igenex and CDC LD positive, 10/02-LD positive, 11/03-LD positive, 10/07-Bartonella positive, CD57=3, possibly just tested positive for koseri IgA, Morganella motgani,Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (RMSF - yay! another acronym), Typhus Fever, Klebsiella pneumonia, Proteus miabilis, Citrobacter i IgA, Hafnia alvai IgA, NKC4, Interleukin 4 (IL4), IL8, Immunobillin (IM01). 
Current Rx's 11/12/08: Wellbutrin 300mg, Paxil 60mg, Xanax 5mg, Acidophilus, Lyrica 600mg
"How much more can I take?", songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gHiR1xeOSs


scorpio1960
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 5/18/2009 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
How very sad. My thoughts and prayer go out to her and her family.

There are so many days I wake up and it's the first thought that crosses my mind but somewhere deep down I still have some hope left. It's impossible for those who do not suffer from this horrific disease to possibly understand.

Crystal Visions
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 5/18/2009 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
i cried
Lupus, Raynaud's, APS (cardiolipin), Protien c+s, COPD, Graves Disease, emphysema and who knows what else!
 
May The Lord Bless everyone that all have some relief of symptoms soon


RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 5/18/2009 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
its so sad, and sader yet i can understand it too.

my prayers are with everyone who suffer from this awefull disease
   RD
                                                                                                                 
 
still looking for answers
 


Turquoise Sky
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 250
   Posted 5/18/2009 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for sharing this story. That is so sad. If my symptoms had been that severe, I don't know what I'd do either. I've been blessed and lucky I guess.

You are all in my prayers.

Ginnia
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 5/18/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I posted this link on facebook. If more people can know about LD, maybe they will insist on early diagnosis if it comes their way. And maybe their knowing about LD will eventually lead to others working harder to find ways to treat long term lyme successfully. I feel so sorry for this lady. Yet I can so understand her stress . May the Lord bless us all with a return to health.

CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 5/19/2009 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow, this is so very sad. I too have had that feeling many, many times. The pain gets so bad sometimes. I'm feel so bad for this ladies family. Wow, I don't even have words. I just wish one of us could have helped her somehow.
2003 symptoms started with very intense panic attacks and anxiety. Also had sound and smell sensitivities. Was in and out of the hospital from 2003-2005. Diagnosed with panic disorder.
2007 found an LLMD and was diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence. Muscle pain, joint pain, floaters, stiff neck, rib pain, slow thinking, brain fog, etc...
2009 went back to see LLMD. Diagnosed again with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start (starting slow and working my way up, Mepron(babesia), Ultram(muscle/joint pain), Thyro Complex 60mg(Thyroid), Probiotics ,Caproyl(intestinal candidas),Psyllium Powder(intestinal cleansing support),Bentonite Magma(absorbent aid for intestinal detoxification)
-Plus a ton of other supplements


Jendays247
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 652
   Posted 5/19/2009 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel this way daily. I actually just told my mom about the story so she didn't think I was insane for talking about feeling like it's my only option sometimes.

But like you, Scorpio, there is a TINY (apparently that's all it takes) part of me that is holding onto a TINY bit of hope...and I worry that I'll go through with taking my own life and then end up finding out it could've gotten better.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=399827188


JELAINEP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 2017
   Posted 5/20/2009 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I am living proof I can't kill myself - OK that was bad. I tried to share this story with family members and friends, they still don't get it. I'm so tired.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.  - Margaret Meade
06/00- The beginning, 08/01-LD positive, 10/01- Igenex and CDC LD positive, 10/02-LD positive, 11/03-LD positive, 10/07-Bartonella positive, CD57=3, possibly just tested positive for koseri IgA, Morganella motgani,Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (RMSF - yay! another acronym), Typhus Fever, Klebsiella pneumonia, Proteus miabilis, Citrobacter i IgA, Hafnia alvai IgA, NKC4, Interleukin 4 (IL4), IL8, Immunobillin (IM01). 
Current Rx's 11/12/08: Wellbutrin 300mg, Paxil 60mg, Xanax 5mg, Acidophilus, Lyrica 600mg
"How much more can I take?", songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gHiR1xeOSs


CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 5/20/2009 6:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I get sound sensitivity too. Actually, all of my senses get heightened for some reason but I don't have it nearly as bad as this poor lady had it. Can you all imagine asking a doctor to make you deaf? I couldn't even begin to imagine what she went through.

Sometimes, I think I have it bad but then I read about or talk to someone that is so much worse off than me.
2003 symptoms started with very intense panic attacks and anxiety. Also had sound and smell sensitivities. Was in and out of the hospital from 2003-2005. Diagnosed with panic disorder.
2007 found an LLMD and was diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence. Muscle pain, joint pain, floaters, stiff neck, rib pain, slow thinking, brain fog, etc...
2009 went back to see LLMD. Diagnosed again with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start (starting slow and working my way up, Mepron(babesia), Ultram(muscle/joint pain), Thyro Complex 60mg(Thyroid), Probiotics ,Caproyl(intestinal candidas),Psyllium Powder(intestinal cleansing support),Bentonite Magma(absorbent aid for intestinal detoxification)
-Plus a ton of other supplements


JELAINEP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 2017
   Posted 5/21/2009 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
My very first visit to Dr. C's office (at the end of 2001) I was sitting in a chair in the waiting room and they had an overhead fan.... it kept whirling and whirling and made the lighting appear to flicker and I was losing it. When I was finally I was called back, Dr. C could see me in a fetal position in the chair in his waiting room. He walked out and asked me "What is it?" And I said it's the fan, flickering lights, I'm getting sick. And he immediately yelled back to his office staff... "turn off the fan!" I couldn't believe it, he really understood. Now the lights in the waiting room are low lit and I think the fan may have even been removed.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.  - Margaret Meade
06/00- The beginning, 08/01-LD positive, 10/01- Igenex and CDC LD positive, 10/02-LD positive, 11/03-LD positive, 10/07-Bartonella positive, CD57=3, possibly just tested positive for koseri IgA, Morganella motgani,Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (RMSF - yay! another acronym), Typhus Fever, Klebsiella pneumonia, Proteus miabilis, Citrobacter i IgA, Hafnia alvai IgA, NKC4, Interleukin 4 (IL4), IL8, Immunobillin (IM01). 
Current Rx's 11/12/08: Wellbutrin 300mg, Paxil 60mg, Xanax 5mg, Acidophilus, Lyrica 600mg
"How much more can I take?", songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gHiR1xeOSs


CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 5/21/2009 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Jelaine,

I'm like that with lights too. My family and I went to the circus a few years ago and they had a strobe light going off on one of their performances. Omg, I thought I was going to die. It messed with my eyes really bad. I had to close my eyes. After that, the loud noises started getting to me. I felt like I was on a roller coaster. It was like a dominoe affect once it started.

When I first started having heightened senses, it started with a bad panic attack then amplfied noises, bright colors and strong smells. I was in the hospital waiting to be admitted and this lady walked by me with perfume on and it nearly knocked me out. I couldn't take it. It gets worse when I am herxing.
2003 symptoms started with very intense panic attacks and anxiety. Also had sound and smell sensitivities. Was in and out of the hospital from 2003-2005. Diagnosed with panic disorder.
2007 found an LLMD and was diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence. Muscle pain, joint pain, floaters, stiff neck, rib pain, slow thinking, brain fog, etc...
2009 went back to see LLMD. Diagnosed again with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start (starting slow and working my way up, Mepron(babesia), Ultram(muscle/joint pain), Thyro Complex 60mg(Thyroid), Probiotics ,Caproyl(intestinal candidas),Psyllium Powder(intestinal cleansing support),Bentonite Magma(absorbent aid for intestinal detoxification)
-Plus a ton of other supplements

Post Edited (CajunGrl) : 5/21/2009 10:41:59 AM (GMT-6)


forestcall
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 6/24/2009 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   
So sad :-(

I really think Buddhist Philosophy is the answer. You can be Buddhist and Christian.

Buddhism will help to remove all unhappy symptoms.

I feel extra sad because so many people close off their minds to this idea before they even explore the idea.

Love and Peace to all fighting for there life :-)
Bitten 30+ times from 1995 - 2001
2001 Bite swelled up like a soccer ball
2008 Diagnosed


1bitten2xshy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 849
   Posted 6/24/2009 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
This disease is overwhelming in every sense. Please, Please remember, NOTHING in this world is worth killing yourself over. While at the time it may not seem that way...

Please in you are ever in this position and you have no family or friends to talk with or that even remotely understand, please use the number below:


Get Help ! If you or someone you know needs emotional help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline during a crisis. You can reach the Lifeline by dialing 1-800-273-TALK (8255) .

Who Should Call?

- Anyone, but especially those who feel sad, hopeless, or suicidal

- Family and friends who are concerned about a loved one who may be experiencing these feelings

-Anyone interested in suicide prevention, treatment, and service referrals

Details about the Lifeline

*The service is free and confidential
*The hotline is staffed by trained counselors
*Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
*Information about support services that can help you

TTY Users
If you are a TTY user, please use our TTY number: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/24/2009 9:56 PM (GMT -7)   
i go to sleep usually feeling pretty decent, but when i wake up i want to keep on sleeping, i don't want to go to work or interact with people which is not me, so i actually have been thinking about driving my car off a bridge and make it look like and accident instead of suicide. Crazy thoughts, but i'm living in a real time nightmare everyday

RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
james i so understand how you feel. many time i say i am in this new group call the living dead. as to be alive you do and enjoy. well for me with lyme i can no longer do and i suffer with extram pain. no joy in that. but i am not willing to let lyme disease win either. so i will fight and win till i am able once again to do and enjoy.

remeber there is always someone who will miss you if your no longer there. its a tuff battle no doubt.but stand strong for the others who will be bring up the rear.

praying for us all
   RD
                                                                                                                 
 
still looking for answers
 


james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
^^everyday something else negative comes my way, either its a physical or mental symptom of mine.. so this make me not wanting to deal with this anymore, if its lyme or something else or a combo or diseases... I remember my life before and i'm no where close to that now. So life is over for me to a certain degree... i can't help but think the end is near..

RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:28 PM (GMT -7)   
be there done that meself. but i also know i can and will fight this. nothing is finaly. but dead is no going back from that. at lest with lyme you can have a fighting chance to get better. maybe not 100% but if its 80 to 90% i'll take it.

to me finding this site is kinda like my lyme life line. i know i am not alone here. as most friends and family do not understand how i feel. but there is always someone here who does and is there to offer advice.

just this week i have started with the nuero issues, i didnt have up till now. other then my eyes. but i havent been able to walk for almost 2 yrs now. i am in extrem pain daily. but i keep praying for answers. 1 day they will be filled. i can not give up on that belive.

and remeber we are here for ya. if you need to you may always email me
   RD
                                                                                                                 
 
still looking for answers
 


james from missouri
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:35 PM (GMT -7)   
^^^ i'm in a battle, i'm still in the unknown phase until the cdc sends my results back, which hopefully will be by friday or monday. Whatever the case is, i had a bullseye bite, and my symptoms have increased everyday and i haven't got any better.. I mean, i know if its lyme i will be somewhat satisfied, but then again, i'm so health worried, i would want a mri to check for cancer to to make sure i'm not batteling 2 or 3 diseases at one time, this is my fear.. i'm living with cancer/lyme/ and any other infectious disease... because my symptoms are so bad, i can barely talk to people, and i'm so dizzy and have severe chest pains and very poor balance with a shaky/numb thumb. i'm just falling apart and i need a shrink,..

i admire you for all you have been through, you are much stronger than me... and the funny thing is, 6 months ago i felt like a well oiled machine, i felt so good and was so much in shape i felt no one could beat me.. now i'm defeated and weak..

RottenDog
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 6/24/2009 10:47 PM (GMT -7)   
i'm a granma we have to be strong..lol maybe not in body but in mind, and thats half the battle. keep that in mind. if you need to wright it down and place it all over if this will help keep you going. whatever it takes for you to get thro the day. from all i have read i knw its no easy road for us.

i'm not sure but maybe it would help you to not overthink it so much. as my granny always said dont barow trouble. hard to not do in our case. but then again find something you can relate to and fix on that.

me its knowing that when i beat this battle i will be helping others. as i do plan on helping in anyway i can. be it getting the word out and wake up people. or like winnning the lotto and setting up trusts for people to get treatment. anything so no one has to fight for treatment as i am doing right now.
   RD
                                                                                                                 
 
still looking for answers
 


Razzle
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4399
   Posted 6/25/2009 3:38 AM (GMT -7)   
James,

When one's health deteriorates rapidly, there is a grieving process - you have to grieve over the loss of your health. Grief has stages - I don't know all the stages, but I know sadness is normally experienced as part of this process before acceptance can be achieved. I know because I've been in some pretty dark places in my life and it can be overwhelming.

Your job right now is to be the best "you" that you can be. That's it. Don't try to be someone you can't.

If you can, try to find something positive every day to think about. And you might want to consider looking into finding a counselor or social worker who can help you through this difficult time.

I hope this helps - take care,
-Razzle
Chronic Lyme Disease, Gluten & Sulfite Sensitivity, Many Food/Inhalant/Medication/Chemical Allergies & Intolerances, Asthma, Gut issues (dysmotility, non-specific inflammation), UCTD ("Secondary Lupus-Like Syndrome"), Osteoporosis, Pancytopenia, chronic malabsorption/malnutrition, etc.; G-Tube; Currently TPN-dependent.
Meds:  Zofran, Pulmicort, IV Ceftazidime, Heparin (to flush PICC line), Claritin, Colloidal Silver (used topically), probiotics, homeopathy.


CajunGrl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4717
   Posted 6/25/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
James,

We have all been where you're at now. I was in dancing for 9 years. I used to be able to do all kinds of things that I can't do now. Before I ever found out what I had, I went years going from doctor to doctor, running test after test.....drawing so much blood that I had bruises up and down my arms. I was in the hospital a few times too. I was told that there was no Lyme here so they weren't even looking for it. I thought I had Aids or cancer because I felt so bad. I went from one day of feeling good to the next day thinking I was dying. It was horrible. I finally gave up on doctor and would not go back. Not even for a sinus infection....which was good in a way because that's how I discovered supplements.

Finally, I had enough and found an LLMD and did the test. Came back negative.....twice, but my doctor was convinced that I had Lyme. Anyway, for about 3 months, I could not get out of the bed. I could barely walk to the toilet to use the bathroom. That was very hard for me. I went through the grieving process big time! I felt like I didn't want to live like this. I was being selfish. I have a husband and two daughters plus a family that loves me. You have to remember that. I know how hard it is but you will be leaving people behind that love you.

If you ever need to talk, you can email me anytime.
2003 symptoms started;panic attacks,anxiety,heightened senses.
2007 Diagnosed with Lyme. Didn't start treatment.
2008 symptoms came back with a vengence.
2009 Diagnosed with Lyme plus co-infections....Babesia and Bartonella.
Illnesses:-Chronic Lyme Disease,Hashimotos Thyroiditis, Ulcers, Hypoglycemia
Medications:-Biaxin 250mg to start,Mepron,Ultram,Thyro Complex 60mg,Probiotics and supplements

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