Today has been the most terrible day. I feel there is a huge disconnect between my brain and my body. I know what I want my body to do (move my feet, point my toes, move my legs quickly, type, play piano, etc)...but my brain will not tell my body quickly enough how to execute these tasks. I really feel like I'm completely losing it.
I sat in a panic state for almost an hour today until I finally gave in and took about 3 mg of Valium (I bit a corner off one of my 10 mg pills). After the Valium kicked in and I calmed down, so did everything else and now I feel okay. I sat there crying and asking what is happening; why is this happening (?)
I have disconnected feelings on a daily basis but today it was terrible. I don't know why, but this doesn't feel like it's a lyme thing. I really feel like my brain is just deteriorating inside of my head, and some destructive force is sucking the life right out of me as I watch, helpless to stop it.
I'm not sure I can keep going. Today I really felt I was going to die.