Urg. Apparently my neuro symptoms are worse than I thought.

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Nicky D
Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 361
   Posted 7/9/2009 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I thought my neuro symptoms had gotten better in the last month. I guess I just got so used to them I stopped noticing... And being able to take my time writing posts like this meant I stopped realizing how much trouble I was having.

I've kind of been a hermit the last two months- other than work, doctors appointments and family, I haven't been doing much. But last night, I thought I'd go out to a movie with some friends, as I had a gift certificate I needed to use.

First off- seeing a movie was a baad idea. The pattern on the carpet made me feel like I was drunk, and the light from the screen gave me a headache. I cried in all the cheesy animated commercials. And I had to pee 40 minutes in...and then an hour after that....and then at the end of the movie with everyone waiting for me.

But worse was the fact that I realized my brain was really not as functional as I thought. I couldn't follow people's conversations- I was just confused all the time! And after the 4th time saying "wait, I don't understand. What happened?" I gave up. And forget about talking- if I could remember the story, I lost my words. If I kept my words, I forgot my story. And this from someone who's dreamed of being an author since she was 5...

I am studying engineering (well, I've been on an internship since January), and I am used to my brain working well. I used to be love complicated debates, and I had a better vocabulary than anyone I know. I'm not used to struggling to understand things- especially simple conversations.

I'm not used to being confused. I think I felt even more lonely last night than I would have felt if I'd stayed home alone. I was trying to forget about this for a night, but all I did was drive home how screwed up I've become.

I don't know what to do if I don't get my thinking back. That was the one thing I thought I could count on. It's terrifying to think about how I'm going to make it through the next year....or two or three. I'm just praying as hard as I can that God can give me the strength to get through this, and find a way to reach my goals anyway...because right now, I'm just feeling lost.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 7/9/2009 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Gosh, Nicky, I'm so sorry to hear this. With the exception of carpet pattern making me drunk, you described me at the movies as well. My kids get very frustrated w/ me and movies, because I can't keep track of who is who and what is going on.

And I'm sure you described many others here too.

You have got to believe that you can do it! It may take longer than you had hoped for and you may struggle harder than you normally would, but you are smart, and I believe you can do it. Maybe try slowing down a little bit more. I know it's frustrating, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do!

This disease sure does mess w/ our minds ---DMNABLE TICKS!!!

Suspect TBI in 1972.  Attacked tonsils (recurring high fevers, constant low grade fevers, chronic tonsillitis) , pregnancy (miscarraige), appendix, heart (mitral valve prolapse), hypoglycemia, depression, chronic acute neck and back pain.  

Next suspect Mother's Day 2007.  Diagnosed w/ Lyme and Bart June 2009. (awaiting more test results)

In treatment for recurrent depression, anxiety, low thyroid.

Bit again 7/1/2009, began Doxy 200 mg /day

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 7/9/2009 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. The cognitive issues have always been my worst symptom. I used to be an engineer and had to stop about 15 years ago. I could no longer read blueprints. I couldn't keep the images in my mind. Some days, I could do math and write reports and other days, I couldn't. I started screwing up too often and what little work I could do took about 5 times longer than it should have.

I have gotten a LOT better but I still have a lot of brain fog. Forget the big words, I'm happy when I can remember the little ones. I was never able to go back to engineering. I teach reading, writing, and speaking English to elementary school kids and I make only about 25% of what I would be making had I stayed in engineering. Some days I can do trigonometry and other days, I can barely do 5th grade math. My students think I'm testing them when I use the wrong words or I ask them for a word. Little do they know! I've learned to laugh about it and I've adjusted but it took a loooonnnnnngggg time.

I don't want to discourage you. It may take you longer to reach your goals and you may even have to change some of your goals. You have a serious illness and it may take a long time for you to improve or recover.

You need to keep socializing, reading, writing, and thinking or you will get worse. If you don't use it, you lose it! Keep trying and keep fighting. Take small steps or you will get overwhelmed.

Are you being treated? Do you have a good doc?

Good luck.

james from missouri
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 432
   Posted 7/9/2009 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
i went to the movie and saw the hangover, and i actually felt hungover without drinking.. i was lost the whole time, i tried to eat some gummy bears, i ate like 5 and started to panic...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1013
   Posted 7/10/2009 1:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Nicky D, i hate going to the movies really, its always messed with me from as far back as i can remeber. i wait till they come out on DVD and watch em at home. so i can pee and just pause the movie..lol

my neighbor told me a lil trick to help with nuero issues it to play games online. and thing that makes you think. i like to play spades. i have played league spades for many yrs. but i stoped 2 yrs ago due to issues better left alone. anyways i found a new league and joined in it. it is worth a try.

i hope things get better for you soon.
still looking for answers.
Remember that advice if free, its your choice what you do with it.  :)

Nicky D
Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 361
   Posted 7/10/2009 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah- I'm making sure to do things that make me think. It's just discouraging when I realize how much trouble I have with them.
And it's embarrasing when I get confused when I'm out with my friends...I know it shouldn't be, but it is. I guess I just need to find a brainless activity to do with them...although I used to think movies fell into that category!
I have a good doc, but she is a naturopathic doctor, so I'm on a herbal route instead of abx. It's supposed to work- but it's much slower. I guess I'll just have to see how things go for the next two months, and then decide what I'm doing in September.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 7/10/2009 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Lymekiller, I was on IV Rocephin for 3 weeks early in my illness. It helped a lot but I wasn't on it long enough. Most of the time, I took oral antibiotics. I probably tried most of the oral meds available at the time (around 1990-1994).

Post Edited (Dagger) : 7/10/2009 7:01:45 PM (GMT-6)

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