(drum roll please).......
I've found a way to get the money for treatment!
I've got a no-interest loan from some family members. As long as I can pay them back in 5 or 6 years, they'll be fine. They can afford it for now, and in a couple of years, I'll be out of school, and will be able to afford to pay them back.
We had many long discussions on WHAT we were going to do. I've already started treatment with natural supplements and stuff- but it was expensive enough I could only afford it for a short time.
The natural route is more expensice than antibiotics would be, and it takes a lot longer than antibiotics to work, so my family is thinking that if they are going to spend the money, we'd be better to spend it on antibiotics.
Also- I have more faith in antibiotics (this is really just a personal choice/comfort thing). And I want to kick this before it makes me really sick. I've already had a herx and some improvement on just the natural treatment, so (despite my test result) i'm fairly confident I have Lyme.
Going to the states would be expensive- but my Dad goes there for business, so I can just go when he goes, and his company will cover the cost of the hotel room. And we have enough airmiles to pay for at least the first couple appointments.
I have an appointment booked with a Seattle LLMD on August 6th.
But I'm having a major guilt trip right now.
I just feel guilty about my family going to all this expense, when I'm not that sick. And telling myself I'll pay them back eventually doesn't really help. It's not a matter of being ashamed to have to borrow money- it's just feeling terribly guilty, because I am worried they might not have enough money, and they are just telling me they do.
After all the times my GP has told me there is nothing wrong....I feel like maybe I should just shut-up and push through this. He's made me feel guilty about wanting to be healthy. If I can still work, and walk and if I can learn to work around my symptoms, then why should my famly be going to all this trouble?
And I'm terrified I'll go to Seattle, and the doctor there will tell me I don't have Lyme disease, and we'll have spent all this money on nothing, and still be no closer to finding any answers...
And then of course I feel guilty for worrying and complaining about this, because I know there are people out there who would give their right leg to get to see a LLMD!