James, I am so sorry! I know this sux! Bad!
In my 'post divorce' life I have been dumped by a couple of guys that I KNEW I was not in love with (well, sorry -- I was in love w/ the 2nd one) -- and even tho I was not in love w/ that person, it hurt really bad. I even ended up feeling I was in love him AFTER the dump, even tho I was not in love w/ him DURING the relationship!
James, that one was 16 years ago. I hung on to my feelings for him for more than several years afterwards, and all for NOTHING. about
9 years ago, all of a sudden I was OVER those feelings and TO THIS DAY I have no clue WHAT I even saw in him! I THANK GOD frequently for NOT giving me what I was begging for because NOW I know I had to have been out of my mind for begging God to make him love me.
I know this stuff does not do you any good right now, because you are hurting now. But I hope you know that time will help heal this pain. As time goes by, you will still hurt, but in time, the pain will not be as sharp and deep.
Here's a little true story:
Some years ago, my daughter was living with 'the right one'. They did not marry, but talked regularly about
their marraige. Bought a house together, adopted 2 dogs and a cat together.
Had some issues, but no point in writing about
them. One Sunday, while laying down for a nap, he said to her: 'I know this relationship needs some work. But honestly, I just don't care enough to do it.'
At first that seems cold and harsh. But my daughter at that time was 24 yrs old, gorgeous and a manager of a bank. Of course, I ran over there as soon as she told me. But the first thing I thought to say to her was, 'Thank you, Justin'. I was so grateful for his honesty and the fact he did not wait 15 years and 3 kids later!'
James, her heart was broken........ For about
an hour. She was then relieved of a struggle to make a partnership w/ a man who did not love her enough to continue. To this day, we are both grateful for his honesty. And we both know that he was not the right one for her.
That you have to work w/ your ex is really crappy, frustrating, and difficult. But know that each day that you do this, it will become just a tiny little bit easier.
I know that you do not want to hear this now, but hopefully one day not too far away, you will realize that she was not right for you. If she was, she would have been very passionate and compassionate about
your serious illness. She would not have left you. She would not have cheated on you (if she did) and would not have taken up w/ someone else so soon. It is at least good that you found out before getting in any deeper.
Again, I am very sorry. And I'm very sorry this was too long. I just needed to tell you this stuff, because even if it does not help today, it will help one day. I know because I have (sort of) been there.
Except for the Lyme part, time is on your side. It will pass quicker than you think!
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia, chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause?
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.