Jelaine, you probably SHOULD have checked in here when you were in such dire need of help!
I have always loved the feelings from these narcotics and I know I have been addicted before, altho not as seriously as you described. By addicted, I mean that my tolerance built up very quickly and I really wanted more when they were gone -- altho not ever a true 'craving'. When I could get my hands on it, I found that after 1 day I wanted double dose and within a week, I could take a quadruple dose (whatever the normal script is for one) and would not feel anything, but was too scared to take any more.
Of the people I have heard of that have died from overdoses of narcotics, I really believe most were accidental. I believe their tolerance became higher than a lethal dose.
Jelaine, I'm really sorry for this horrible episode, but glad that you realize you can't handle this drug before it was too late. I seriously salute you for going thru what you had to go thru. I don't think I coulda done it, and lots of people can't.
But I do not have the answer for those who need meds for their pain. Every drug does have a purpose, but many people have to be VERY careful.
Georgia Girl's advice sounds good and worth trying before getting hooked on narcs.
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia, chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause?
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.