Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, and I understand the frustration and sadness, too. It seems that about every 5 years or so, I go through some lifechanging incident that takes about two years to recover from.
I've been crying today too, so you're not alone. I know what it's like to just want to be well and have a normal life, until a few months ago, everything was going perfect, then I got 4 bites from the end of June through the beginning of August (I'm just calling it July) and now I'm sick again.
I've been thinking about trying to find something legitimate to make money from home also. I'll post here if I can find anything. One thing I would suggest is, if something looks like an opportunity, Google their business name and see if there are complaints about them etc. If nothing can be found but you're not sure, and they have a business address listed, try calling their local Chamber of Commerce or researching them on the BBB to see what you can find.
I know sometimes it feels like no one cares or no one understands what you're going through, but plenty of people here do understand and I'm sure you'll be hearing from many of them soon. You will get better, and the illnesses we suffer can't be kept secret forever. Did you know Michael J Fox has Lyme Disease?
I read that the best way to show that you should be eligible for disability is to keep a journal, not excessively detailed, but enough about your daily experiences to document how your illness affects your ability to function and how it prevents you from leading a normal life. I read that, in the end, it is the daily struggle with your illness and record of it which will win your case--not general descriptions of how you feel or doctors' opinions.
For example: Monday, (Month, day, year) woke up 10 am, with extreme joint and muscle pain, migraine, stumbled to bathroom, had diarrhea all day. Severe nausea, slept on floor near bathroom most of the day. Took pain medicine (type of medicine) and pepto bismol, didn't help. Ate crackers and drank water, couldnt tolerate any other foods. Sweating heavily on an off all day, fell asleep for the night at 8pm.
Tuesday (month, day, year) Today woke up at 12pm, drenched in sweat, joint and muscle pain worse than yesterday, so bad all I can do is cry. Nausea not as bad, still diarrhea all day, migraine makes it hard to open eyes, exhausted. Took different pain medicine (type of medicine). Took highest dose of Parkinson's medication (type of medicine) today due to uncontrollable body movements. Was able to eat cereal and an apple today.
Wednesday (month, day, year) I don't know if I'm going to make it today. Everything is really bad today. Too sick to write. Would call 911 but can't afford hospital. Called my sister. She came after work. All I had today was water.
(This is not my actual journal, just an example, though some days come pretty close to this and I do have these types of symptoms.) But you see how this holds more weight than............."well your honor, i get headaches, muscle pains and nausea and sometimes muscle spasms and I almost went to the hospital last week."
Don't ever put anything in it that isn't true, but you see an example of how keeping track of symptoms will have an impact.
I really hope you feel better soon! Take care and good luck with getting financial help for your disability!