For those of you who struggle thru this long post, God bless you. and God bless you if you struggle thru this because it hits close to your home. Together we will find some answers and be able to help others, just as CajunGrl has.
CajunGrl -- I am well past menopause, and any particular symptoms of that were (or seemed to be) over well before my last tick bite. I WAS on a low dose of anitdepressants and just 1/2 xanax before bed. At that time, I think I was more lazy about cutting them down to nothing than actually ill. 50 mg of amiltriptyline and .25 xanax knocked me out.
Haven't been my old Miss Energy, tho, for a long time.
After the tick bite, my depression and anxiety went out of control. It was one total nightmare! But I had also just been laid off from a job I thought I would work until retirement. At the time, I blamed these symptoms on that and the futility of the job search after mortgage fell apart.
Looking back, my responses to this situation were not like me. I have always been stronger. I was in a LOT of physical pain (still am, but not like back then) and in such a big, dark hole, it took everything I had in me to climb out of it to find a new job.
I had to quit the first one I got because of anxiety and the job was stressful. I had to fight for unemployment because I quit, but I maintained I should not have to take xanax to go to work or stay at work, and thankfully my Dr wrote that letter.
I did OK awhile after the Dr increased my doses of these meds. Then, almost a year after this, everything came back and bit me again. After starting Amox, I felt I got a little relief, but only for about a week -- this stuff came back and bit me and gradually worsened. NEVER was it as bad as it was 2 years ago, tho.
My Dr (psyche) wants me on 200 mgs Amiltriptyline. I can't handle that much -- I weird out and pass out. I was on 150 mg and decided to trim that down a little more, so I'm on a little over 100 mgs. (I trim the 2nd pill).
Now, this crap doesn't happen every day. I have decent days here and there, but not enough. But when I hit the rock bottom I am scared. I don't know what to do. Again, I feel desperate to get out of here, to escape. I mentally BEG for a hosipital SOMEHWERE. Again, I do not feel in danger of suicide, but the word comes to me against my will and I am scared that one day my mind will not be my own and I will not be thinking it thru. (the reason counseling on this won't help) But please do not fear I am in this kind of danger right now, because I'm not. And I do know who to call if this happens and hopefully, I will have enough of my mind to do so. But it is so scary and I cannot live like this.
Again, I know most of you are not Drs, but want to know if any of you believe this is Amox, Candida, Lyme, or possibly herxing. I know you can't know, but was hoping for similar experience or more knowledge than I have. Or am I, as I fear, just mentally ill?
I am home sick today and will be working on trying to get into the Dr I want to see, but there will be a wait.
Rutger, You have my deepest sympathies. I do understand and others here understand also. You are not alone. I don't understand what 'batteries' are? The best I can tell you is to know that the feelings are temporary. The whole mess is temporary, hopefully.
YOu can speak about your Lyme all you want on this forum. Even if we can't help you, others here will understand and can advise you on certain things, help you go in certain directions, help you to hang on and hang in there. They can offer you help.
I do not understand the symptom of this disease taking over our minds. Rutger, since you have a love in your life, you must hang on. You must pray for your girl to be strong enough to hold onto you.
It is possible that I experience somewhat the same thing, when you said you are checking her to see if she is beautiful. I am experiencing hatred for my co-workers. (not my boss who is wonderful). The women I work w/ are gossipy, negative, nasty, rude, insulting, unprofessional 'B's'. Seriously. Constantly. But I often wonder if it is me who is perceiving or feeling them as worse than they really are? As you said and I said, our minds are not our own. I do not understand this part.
I never felt this way when entering a depression before. In the past, all I've ever needed when entering a depression was a low dose anti-depressant (never xanax before), some good sleep and a little time to recoop.
I am not my old self at work. I never was the super hero at work (except for 1986-2002 -- yes, I was a hero) that some of you have said you once were. But I was always positive, fun, funny, and competent. I now work in a different environment. I used to love this job and now I hate it. I hate it because of the nasty women I work with.
Is there any way I/we can determine from whence these feeliings come?
Oh -- I have not been great on the detoxing except drinking lots of water. I was doing the apple cidar vinegar but it was beginning to feel that it bothered my stomach, so I laid off. I am going to try it again to make sure that it was the vinegar and not something else.
Thank you to whoever believes they have any answers and please consider Rutger who seems to be in almost the same place. Together we have to whip this
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia, chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause?
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.
Post Edited (+Lyme) : 9/26/2009 11:07:38 PM (GMT-6)