Any such thing as rehab?

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+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 10/14/2009 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I know that all of you suffer major physical infirmities.  I have plenty, but not to the point I cannot function, altho I often function in severe pain and profound fatigue.
 
But, as you've seen, I've posted a lot about neuro problems:  Brain fog, cognitive failure, idtiot at work, difficulty in speaking, WORSNEING word loss and problems communicating.
 
The worst of all has been the recurring improving, then worsening of depression. It is physically caused, I know it, because it comes and goes and will knock me down w/ nothing else is wrong. Same for anxiety and total body rigidity, altho I'm treating the worst part of it w/ xanax.
 
However, my xanax use has increased and I must rely on it and amiltriptyline (sp) to 'knock me out) at bed time and I will still awaken every coupld of hours.
 
I also have a problem w/ this short term memory.  At nite, I space my xana, so I can begin to unwind, but will gradually increase the dose. My memory is so bad that immediately after I take a xanax, I can't remember if I already took it and will take it again. I truly believe this is how people like Marilyn Monroe and others have OD'ed. They required higher and higher doses, and so then if they were drinking, and were not experiencing the relief of the drug (and sleep), would take another and another, not being able to recall how much they have already taken. Sometimes I will remember to lay out my dose, so I will know what i have taken.
 
At the time I believe I was infected w/ lyme, my drinking got weird.  Not a full blown alcholic, but I did enjoy my 3- under 5 beers daily. I had loved my beer for years. At the time I believe I contracted lyme, that all went weird. I lost my taste for beer altogether, it gave me unmanageable diahwhatever and made me feel horrible, so I lost all interest and stopped.
 
I could probaly choke down a beer if you gave me one, but I'd rather not. EVery now and then I tried something else, tho nothing harder than Mike's hard pomegranet punch. (it is delicious!) SO I'm now imbibing this much more than I shoudl while having lyme. Not sure I'm addicted to it, but I won't drinking anything else. And I can only drink a couple.
 
POINT: When my depression has crashed, as I"ve said before, it is unbearable. I am despondent and desperate. It seems to come on suddenly for no reason, altho I'm noticing it is somehow related to my Amox and my smoking. When I am feeling this desperate, I feel comepletely bottomed out on the confusion, desperation, hopelessness, worthlessness, self hatred, etc etc etc. 
 
I always experience the frantic desire to 'escape'. I want to just stop doing anything and see what happens. I want to leave town alone and find isolation.  I contemplate suicide, altho I know I can't do it. Again, as I've said, the thought pesters me and nags at me and it scares me.
 
I smoke and I also know that smoking causes me self loathing and disgust in myself. But I can't quite make that switch.
 
So, mostly, I crave being able to go away somewhere, check in and get help: for the drugs (all prescription!), smoking, depression and probably alchohol (tho I know it's a matter of time before I wn't be able to find my hard pomogranet punch and I won't want to drink anything esle.
 
I have a strong desire to commit myself somewhere for lyme and co infection treatments, along w/ smoking cessation, which I know it a huge part of my depression.
 
Is there any such place?  Not that I could go because of my dogs, but maybe I could think on and it and just maybe the thoughts of actually doing it would help me, even if I can't.
 
Does this make any sense?  I am at a loss here.  Often, I feel I can't take it anymore and no one else understands.
 
If any of you know what could help me, please let me know. I am home ill today and plan to make an appt w/a lyme knoweldable PCP covered by my ins. These Drs were referred to me by the KC Lyme Association.  They may not be the best LLMDS, buwere referred as PCPs who are learning to treat lyme.


Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause? 
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.
 

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 10/14/2009 8:22:18 AM (GMT-6)


Harleyrider
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 283
   Posted 10/14/2009 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   
+Lyme

Sorry you are having such a hard time on top of the Lyme

But for me alot of my depression and confusion came because of the drugs.
If it be the pain meds or the xanax, its really something to try and cut down
on if this is possible. Ask you pharmacist or the doctor how to wean yourself
off these drugs to see if they will help you regain some foggy brain or confusing mind.

In my opinion these drungs are a coverup for symptoms from other things, and can
cause symptoms like the ones you experience with Lyme and co-infections.

For me it was hard for me to tell if I was getting better from the Lyme or were these
pain meds and such causing other problems....long term use of these drugs are very
addicting and your body will do weird things making you think it just lyme symptoms.
When in all it may just be your body telling you to feed it more pills.

I am praying you get the help you need.

Good Luck
 


strongmom
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 10/14/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow I am really sorry to hear you are dealing with so much.

Not to alarm you, but you should be careful with the Xanax. Only take it as needed, and if you find you are taking it on regular basis, check with your doc to see if there is anything less addictive that might help.

I had a friend who was very addicted to it, and apparently this is common. She finally ended up in rehab when it got to the point where her doc could only prescribe a couple days dosage at a time to prevent her from overdosing.

She was actually much more relaxed after going through rehab and stopping the Xanax. If you believe you are addicted and need that kind of help, your doctor who prescribed the Xanax would likely know somewhere you can get help.

Again I don't want to scare you but, after seeing what happened to my friend, whenever I hear mention of that drug I have to say something.

I truly hope you can begin to feel better soon. Take care of yourself.

kelly1234
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 10/14/2009 2:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow. I am so sorry to hear about how you are feeling and am having so many of your feelings. I have had crazy anxiety and depression since this started. I am currently not taking xanax or an anti depressant. I do take doxepin at night 20 mg (which is not an antidepressant dosage I am told) to sleep. The last 2 days, I feel like lyme has taken over my body with a vengeance. I am in my 14th month of treatment and this has me frightened beyond belief. I can feel it in my brain, it has started to affect my speech. I've got the buzzing/tingling/vibrating in my mouth and down my legs. A slithering feeling in my abdomen, electric shock feeling in my feet and muscle twitching. The irony, is that just met with my llmd on friday and she came to the conclusion that I was coming out of this. I put a call in today, because I too, question my ability to handle much more of this...

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 10/14/2009 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, everyone. I guess the point of my post is that I know all these problems are caused by the lyme. I did not have a problem before it. Also, my psyche tells me I need the xanax, since it helps. His ONY concern seems to be that if it wasn't working, then we would have a problem. He is a script writer and is not concerned about how much I take.
 
I experience much the same things as Kelly1234. (except not the abdomen) My entire body has buzzed and throbbed (yep, Kelly, in the mouth too) and some of that has actually felt a little better the past couple of days.
 
I just feel that it's not fair. Those who are addicted to heavy drugs and alcohol can check into rehab when they can't take it anymore,  and their ins will pay for it. Those of us w/ the misery of lyme and/or cigarette addiction don't have that option. 
 
I am positive that getting off xanax, or at least reducing the dose would help.  I also know that quitting smoking would eliminate most of the need for it!
 
Thank you for your support and helpful words!


Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause? 
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.
 


JennInPA
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 228
   Posted 10/15/2009 4:51 AM (GMT -7)   
+Lyme - there is something called EFT , Emotional Freedom Technique. It does work, you can look it up on youtube, just type in EFT Smoking. Give it a try. I was a smoker up until a few years ago. Did you know that Smoking takes oxygen away from our blood? Did you know that Lyme hates oxygen? So it's kinda like the Lyme and Ciggs are in kahoots. They are both fighting against your blood to not let it do what it should. I still want a cigg sometimes but then I just picture the cigg with its hands around my bloods neck. lol

I'm a big chiropractor advocate, not all are amazing but mine recommends things for me that are all natural for depression, or anything that I need in my life at that time. The difference is they care about you, they aren't making money from you buying vitamins so why would they care if you bought it or not? If money is an issue chiropractors will usually work with you to. I don't even pay for my visits at all, just my 2 sons.

Good luck to you, take one day at a time.

+Lyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1304
   Posted 10/15/2009 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
JennInPA, THANK YOU so much for the smoking site! I have not been able to go there yet, but I'm really anxious to see how this works! I'll take all the help I can get! THanks again.
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia,  chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.
What don't these nasty bugs cause? 
CD57= 60, so we're in pretty good shape.
 

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