Oh dear, Cre
, what a tragedy! And the irony in uncanny. Did you ever document anything at your workplace? You know, bullying or creating hostile environments these days is soooooo illegal. Even if you don't have enough documentation for a lawsuit, surely you have enough to get that ex-boss in trouble?
I have taken a lot of crap from crappy (substitute the 's' word, please) at various places I've worked. I always prided myself that I never let it interfere w/ my own good attitude and professionalism. HOWEVER, if someone even starts jacking w/ my job and my livlihood, I am up for the fight. And I have had some fights.
What you were up against is sooooo illegal, but worse, it is so insidious and downright evil. I understand that there are plenty of evil people out there in the work place. Let them all go on and be evil and dig their own graves. But once they start jacking w/ a person's living, they need to be attacked.
Cre, it is strange, because we have some similarities. Right at the same time as my lay off in 2007, I got the tick bite. This was the mortgage biz and I was fighting like crazy to get a job. During the first month, the only offer I got, came after I practically begged on my hands and knees w/ a woman who was interested in hiring me, but seriously doubted I could handle the stress. Little did I know that she was being brutally honest about the stress (WHY must it be this way??)
I took the job because I HAD to. I had been a good processor (and it's normally pretty stressful, but I handled it OK). I started it appx 1 month after my tick bite and mild illness. I suffered difficulties in training -- I couldn't keep up w/ the computer training, w/ a program I had used before. I couldn't think straight, couldn't remember anything. I was so embarrassed.
Then when I was assigned to a team, the real nightmare began -- just as you said. It wasn't just that my team leader was a complete and total B, who insulted me (underhandedly) at every opportunity. I could not keep up, I couldn't remember things, and I was stressing so bad I was literally sick. First I thought it was just me, but I learned that many others were suffering from the stress also. Difference was, it was making me so sick I was (not seriously) contemplating suicide, just to escape. I had to take a xanax to go to work and needed another half way thru the day.
1) No one should have to endure insult and such high degrees of stress at their job (unless it's paying a heck of a lot more than 35 grand, anyway)
2) I now realize that I was very sick at that time. I had cognitive problems and severe anxiety issues, probably from Babesia. I probably could have endured had I not been sick.
The good news is that I was able to convince the State to pay me unemployment on the grounds that the position was physically too stressful for me. My quack psyche even wrote a letter for me -- he didn't believe in Lyme, but he believed that I could not handle that job and the stress.
Cre, I am not happy to hear about the place you are in now because I know how bad it sucks and because it was a nightmare finding another job. I almost killed myself about 50 times!
So, Cre, I am here w/ you and I'm pulling for you. You ARE definitely between a rock and hard place. I am definitely praying for you!
btw, I am currently working in a 'hostile' workplace. I work very closely w/ 3 women who are total B's, they all have their own mental disorders and they hate me. They make mistakes, but are trying to hang me w/ my many mistakes. Suffice to say, I never made a complaint to my boss --- SHE initially brought this up w/ me, having heard the way they treated me. HR finally called a meeting w/ all of us, still, thru no complaint of mine -- based soley on what my boss was hearing coming from them.
And btw, the lady whose position I obtained, was fired for shoving one of these women. She was evidently working on documentation for a hostile workplace, but one evening, during court, could not contain herself and she shoved one of them. Fired the next day.
Needless to say, there had been meetings w/ HR called regarding the treatment from these women, but she was not able to hold out. I will, by God. They will NOT make me quit this time. I will have their 'A's' knowing that they have done this before.
So, Cre, if there is any way in heck to document anything, you should try. You had the right position for you. No one has the legal right to take that from you and ruin your life.
Sorry so long -- I just love it when some of us relate....
It is temporarily better and I am satisfied that