I really hate bringing this up, but have come to the point I feel like I have to, just in case anyone relates or can explain it w/o me having suddenly become an alcoholic.
For years, for over 25 years, I have drunk no alcohol besides beer. I loved my beer -- tho I never drank alcoholically and I never drank or wanted anything else.
Around the time I first got sick w/ Lyme (tho I didn't know it was Lyme at the time), beer started making me sick, it didn't taste any good and made me feel so horrible, that I couldn't stand it anymore. For over a year I never drank anything. Not because I was trying to quit or thought I should quit -- but because I hated the thought of it. If I went to a social thing (RARE, maybe twice in 3 years) I'd have my beer, but could hardly choke it down. At one party, I tried to get 2 down to get a buzz and I couldn't do it.
Anyway, sometime during my Amox treatment, I felt like having a couple beers, despite the fact I shouldn't while on abx. Seeing My old Miller Lite just didn't do it, so I tried something new: Mike's Hard Pomegranite Punch. Because it looked good and fruity and refreshing. I loved it and would have just a couple, a couple of times per week. I started increasing the number of days, and now, I think I am addicted. I crave it, even tho I know I really don't want to feel that way.
It is so strange, because before 1/2 way thru my Amox, I couldn't stand the very thought of drinking ANYTHING alcoholic.
it's expensive, so I tried to drink a beer yesterday and again, couldn't choke it down and ran out for my Mike's. I know it is bad for me, but the craving is pretty bad and I having a hard time giving it up. It is very sweet and delicious.
I wondered if this meant my lyme was cured because I felt like I could drink again. But now, I am upset because I'm out of money, declaring BK, have no Dr money, but dying for my Mike's. (I make it last as long as I can cause of the cost)
It is possible AT ALL that something is causing this craving besides alcoholism?? Does anybody out there relate?? I don't feel like it's alcoholism because I don't want any other alcohol. If Mike's is not available, I don't want anything else. Could it be the sugar? Or certain hopps?
I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LOSER IDIOT, WHICH I AM.