Yes, I feel as if I am going insane DAILY. I cannot even describe the feelings, my head and mind are so jumbled. My mind often races (and not about anything that makes any sense) and I can't stop it, can't stop and try to figure out what I'm trying to think about! I'm often paralyzed in total confusion and feelings like I'm going to explode or completely lose it.
It is horrid and too often unbearable. And at times very scary too. I totally sympathize w/ your feeling like you need to check into a hospital -- I feel this way almost every day, I feel so desperate and feel like I can't go on like this. I swear, if I did not have 2 dogs who depend soley on me, I would have tried to check in somewhere.
I have felt like I was 'losing it' for over 3 yrs now. This is in spite of the fact that I am on the same antidepressant (now a higher dose) that helped me for years and years in the past.
I just want to tell you you are not alone. I know that that, alone, does not really even help. Also, my anxiety and depression went thru the roof and down to the pits while I was on Amox. AFter 2 months and I stopped, I experienced a lot of relief, and thought I was cured, but it did not last.
I have experienced a lot of sleep paralysis in the past, however not in a long time, because I don't go thru normal sleep patterns anymore. I don't think that is necessarily bad, except that it is scary. You are actually paralyzed so that you will not act out what's going on in your sleep --- people that lack this stage have night terrors and get up and go nuts chasing stuff.
I don't know if this will help or not. A man once told me that at those times (and my head is roaring), I am trying to leave my body. It does not always work and I cannot do this at will. But years ago, when this would happen, I could make myself sort of dive down, like into a somersault, into the darkness and then will myself to float upwards. It's very pleasant to feel yourself leave your body -- regardless of whether it is only a dream or for real.
Sometimes it's too difficult to get thru the ceiling and then the attic. Sometimes I couldn't make it thru. Sometimes I could go above the trees, and many times I flew thru the air really fast. Once, I even went zooming thru the Universe -- seeing all the stars and galaxies. I wondered what the temp was, because I knew I didn't have my body (so how could I see?). (Absolute zero is the temp)
It was a very thrilling adventure and nothing on earth or of material held any significance. Maybe I HAD stopped breathing, as so often it feels??
Anyway, for me and others I've talked to, this usually happens when you are extremely exhausted and/or stressed. I take too many drugs right now to sleep and thus have not experienced this, or known that I have. Unfortunately, my daughter will experience this paralysis, but she feels a terrifying evil presence at that time -- and she knows that someone or something evil is in her room. I haven't been able to get her to turn it around, and it's not easy.
If you have a bout like you had this morning, just try to relax yourself and try to will yourself to float upward. It's really pleasant.
I know I sound crazy, but I bet others know what I'm talking about
Bit 1972: Acute and chronic tonsillitis, UTI, miscarraige, appendicitis, hypoglycemia, chronic neck pain w/ crushed vertibrae, chronic severe back pain, mitral valve prolapse, depression, resolution?
Bit Mother's Day 2007: Lyme, Babesia microti, hypothyroidism, EBV, HHV6, Parvovirus B19, low adrenals &misc other hormones, depression, anxiety, more of the above.