Yes, like you said, it's very hard. I'm sorry for all the suffering your husband is going through (and you too). Many of his symptoms sound exactly like what I used to have. I know the anger and rage must be very hard on you, but remember, it isn't about you, it's this disease that does that. I remember when I felt the anger and rage coming on, I would tell my wife to please be aware of the fact that I'm ready to go off so please give me space. It helped her to be more sensitive during those times, and I made every effort to go outside, go to bed, take a bath or just isolate myself from her, or anyone else, so that I wouldn't take it out on her. This is a very vicious disease and it's not easy for the patient, nor the spouse, who has to live with. We are praying for you both.
You are right about the family physician, there is nothing he can do because he is not trained to treat Lyme disease. Although, he can order a Western Blot test for your husband (I'm surprised he's even willing to do that as most PCP's only order the ELISA test), but he won't know what to do once the results come back. This disease is more of a clinical diagnosis. Only a LLMD is truly qualified to diagnose this disease regardless what the test results show. Some people have a negative test result, but they still have Lyme disease. The best evidence that your husband has lyme disease is the tick bite AND the rash. The two together is more reliable, in most instances, than any blood tests that he could get from a laboratory.
Blood tests are hit and miss. No matter how good the lab is, the only way to know for sure is based on the clinical diagnosis from your LLMD. He/she is the only one who will know how to treat it. Three weeks of abx doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of this disease, but most PCP's only do what they've read about based on guidelines put out by IDSA and not ILADS. It's complicated to explain here, but in time you will come to understand that this is a very controversial disease and there's a big difference in the way the two groups treat this disease. The only way your husband will get well is to be treated by a ILADS LLMD.
My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are interested in getting a couple of links to websites that provide LLMD referrals, I will be glad to send them to you. Your husband has apparently had this disease for at least one year, if I understand you correctly. Although, it's harder to treat once it's gone beyond 6 months, it's still treatable, and the sooner he get's treated by a qualified LLMD the better off he'll be. It's still early in the game, his chances of beating this disease is excellent!
Keep us posted and let us know how the Western Blot test turns out.