Hey everyone! My name is Jenn, and I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease when I was twenty years old. My first three week treatment of doxy did little to nothing to stop the bacteria rampaging its way through my blood stream. After another year and a half of seeing a myriad of doctors, including infect disease specs, rheumatologists, dozens of gps and er doctors; after hearing diagnoses of lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, fybromyalgia, arthritis, and even a few hints that I might just be crazy, I finally found my wonderful Lyme doc, who has helped me profusely in my battle against a disease that has been undermined by the medical community, and has undermined my life.
I have dropped out of school three times, lost jobs, friends and futures because of one stupid tick on a farm in Arkansas. I have been prescribed at least ten kinds of antibiotics, five kinds of pain killers, had surgery to replace a hernia caused by weak muscles, lost forty pounds, and tossed my cookies more times in the last year than I have in the whole of my life, combined. This month I will be switching from oral meds (which my system rejects volatilely) to IV.
I guess I came to this forum because I'm losing hope. I have been reassured that I will get better, that someday, somehow, I might even be 100% again. It's hard for me to see that possibility when I am unable to stand for more than ten minutes without fainting, can't eat more than 800 calories a day, and am most days so stiff I can't get out of bed. Even harder to swallow is, what am I going to do after this? If/when I get better, how will I pick up the pieces of my life and put them together? I have no education but for a high school diploma and a couple years of college, no money, no stamina or muscle to work eight hours a day. I live every day with the fear that I will be no more than a couch potato for the rest of my life. How will I be able to be a good wife, a good mother, when the time comes for that? I know God is watching me, and He has a plan for my life, but I'm scared.
There are some good things, though. I am getting married to a wonderful man in April, who is both understanding of my condition, and has the patience and love to take care of me at my worst times, my best times, and every time in between. I have a collection of reptiles, who, despite their scaliness, have proved to be invaluable friends. I have loving parents, who have taken me back into their home when I had nowhere else to go, and have provided me with the financial aid I need to get better.
So this is my introduction. I know it's depressing, but I am hoping that someday I will be able to give comfort instead of despair.
Post Edited (fluffylizard) : 8/11/2010 11:15:48 AM (GMT-6)