Thanks so much for all your replies, a lot of great info. If my insurance
will pay for treatement, I should be ok. THe problem is, I know they don't like to pay and I have found a lot of articles where patients were abandoned by their med. insurance
, including my own med. insurance company
, so I know that for a fact. We are paying thousands of $$ already out of pocket for insurance
and copays, on top of what my husband's employer
is paying them, but when it comes to Lyme, the ins. companies do not want to pay! I hope the guidelines will change soon. THis is just not right for any of us!
I also hope and pray I won't get worse and be able to watch my children. I am a very independent person and I hope I will be well enough not to need help. In all honesty, I don't want anyone else to watch them, but me. But I do have to finally face
reality (I was in denial for 2 years, until Lyme got worse and worse and worse, I was in denial even when I started posting here, some of you may remember that--I really wanted to believe my first PCP that 3 weeks of abx was enough). So, no, I am not over reacting or freaking out, as someone put it here, but on contrary, I am waking up to a reality I did not want to face, because denial was what brought me piece of mind and comfort. It is however getting worse, A LOT of new symptoms, a lot of pain
+ neurological issues, brain fog--I hate this the most! and pretty much I now have ALL symptoms EXCEPT 5 from the long list from the "new to lyme--start here" thread.
In the event I will get worse, as many people do get worse before getting better, I have to have a backup plan. I can't afford to cross my arms and do nothing, right now. My husband has to work. He works a lot. If he has a project to finish he sometimes works 7 days a week, long hours, too, no overtime compensation. Today I had felt I was going to collapse several times. I can't wait until I won't be in good enough of a shape to make a phone call
or take care of my children or make the right decisions, in general. If I didn't have children, it would be a different story. Those of you who have 3 very young children know this. THose that don't, well, I have been there, and I know what some think. I can tell you that my last few days with 3 children including a baby were almost unbearable, as I feel so badly and so overwelmed, I just want to run away to escape from my own body. When I am with one child or even 2, it's a breeze. The baby takes a lot of my time. I never imagined I would get so sick--if I would have, I wouldn't have had any children. I wish I could aford child care right now, because I feel I am not really there for them. My son is having a hard time, he started to cry a lot lately and he does not understand I am sick, he keeps saying I don't love him because I can no longer take him to the park or play with him. Yesterday he said he will ran away, he is old enough and tall enough to unlack the doors and gate. He did ran, but he came back and he was sitting by himself on the porch. It really worries me! Also, earlier this week, he and his sister ran in the street, and all the way around the block. By the time I got to them (I had to get the baby, put her in the stroller and walk to get to them, the soles of my feet were sore, and my legs were hurting, so I could barely walk), they made it all around the block and I met them on a street that was perpendicular to ours. My daughter was walking on the street, yes, where the cars are, facing the cars!
For those of you that mentioned family: I have my mom and my sister. My father passed away. THey help when they can, but my sister is a full time
student and works and my mom works full time
. I leave in PA and they are in NY. I wish they were closer! Right now it is just not possible for them to move.
By the way, my sister is a nursing
student. She learned about
Lyme at school. THere were 2 rows about
it in her text book
. Nothing about
chronic lyme or about
co-infections! Go figure! Who is writing these books??? Perhaps the same people that are writing the guidelines for treating Lyme? What a shame!
My mom battled with Hep C a last year and she just finished therapy this year; she is still trying to recover from it... Her insurance paid for most of it, but she went through all her savings. She was a nurse in a different country--she was not born here, and they did not use gloves for anything, so many docs and nurses got Hep C that way. She also had a blood transfusion when she gave birth to my sister, and they were not testing the blood for anything. She will probably never know for sure how and when she got infected. But anyway, she is doing much better now, health wise, but she still needs her med insurance, so she has to work. Sometimes she becomes very anemic and has had some heart issues, kidney problems and God knows what else, she is good of hiding her conditions, but she has to go and have her blood checked regularly. Thank God she is much better now, when she comes here for a couple of days it is such a big break for me!
Again, thanks for your help and I will check the links out. It is not me that I am worried about
, it is the children. If someone could watch them at least once in a while or for a few hours a day, I would still be ok, in my misery... I am hoping it is a herx, as some of you suggested, and that it will go away. Hope is what keeps me going...
TODAY I COULD NOT REMEMBER THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER SONG, ALTHOUGH I MUST HAVE SANG IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES, I KEPT GETTING IT WRONG! MY CHILDREN KEPT LOOKING AT ME IN DISBELIEF...
YESTERDAY I SAID TO MY HUSBAND 10+8=16... I HAVE A GRADUATE DEGREE IN STATISTICS... MY 6 YEAR OLD CORRECTED ME! I INSISTED 10+8=16, AND HE SAID TO ME, "YOU ARE WRONG, MOM"!
Thanks for listening...
Post Edited (Simela) : 8/28/2010 1:03:54 AM (GMT-6)