Thanks....and the anxiety and depression are indeed the nature of the beast of this Lyme menace. I have been there many many times. The sheer weight of the struggle to get up every day and act like things are okay. Its overwhelming at times and desperate at times. I have wished my self dead and passively contemplated ending it all...but I wasn't suicidal other than just wishing to escape the agony of neuro symptoms that were pervasive day after day. Its not easy and it takes a lot of work. But what got me out was an instinctive fight within to prevail.
It's really not even the fight either. Rather it's trying not to fight anymore and accept one's condition. Maybe I had an edge before, not knowing it was Lyme. I just thought I was doomed to recurring and extreme anxiety with depression. So I read how to overcome this. I did it without meds for the most part because I do not like them and teh anti-depressants did not work anyways. I did take Xanax for a time...a very low dose to take the edge off.
Lyme disease upsets your neurotransmitter functions - the very things that control anxiety and depression. So, once the Lyme load decreases, so will those awful symptoms. I am not saying attitude is the only facet of cure but it plays a paramount role. In the past, not knowing I had Lyme, I somehow prevailed by instinctively reverting to eating healthy, exercising and just simplifying my daily activities as much as possible. These were my abxs and my detox without me even knowing. That coupled with a strong attitude helped me recover time and again. Again, it's not easy ... I ended up in the ER a couple of times thinking I was going to die or afraid I was going to do harm to myself. I did neither thank God. In fact, the last time I ent to the ER about
6 years ago during a flare, they had me in a room with no way to get out - no doorknob on the inside. That struck me to the core and I vowed never to get myself in such a position again (I had just gone because I thought I would harm myself).
All these years somehow I was able to raise two daughters. I endured a loss of a son to SIDS, I got BS and MS degrees in electrical engineering, I wrote a book, I watercolored (both award winning efforts) and tried to live. I turned the pages on Lyme and saw that it helped me expand my boundaries. None of this is bragging rather, I see now the power of the mind and determination to get by as one important facet of overcoming chronic illness. I still struggle at times and then I revert to my meditation and detox and try and ride the struggle like an ocean wave rather than sink into its depths. It is a gradual process, but it always resolves...keep working it, my friend!
That's my story and I hope no one is offended by this but my experience with Lyme has been life long. Very tough at times but also utterly rewarding at times. And most of all, if I can get through it, then ANYONE can. Bless you all and keep the faith! Sorry for typos...typing on the smart phone is tough!
Post Edited (yazzer) : 1/24/2012 6:32:16 AM (GMT-7)