I have been spacing out a lot, it terrifies me
this is really difficult to deal with, on my own.
it is terrifying. I am upset because I kept going to different drs
I got tested for lyme 2x but as we all know the tests are not acurate
I am angry about living in the US and not getting proper care
I am angry about the thousands of dollars spent
and now my brain is so affected, It is getting harder for me to take care of myself
I use to be so incredibly intelligent, and now it is hard to pay atttention when someone speaks, OMG,
I called hansa, but it is so expensive, and yet essentialy my life is on the line, I feel so alone, except for here. but grateful for this site, as I did not know about that place, so thank you forever.
I cant drive long distance anymore.
this is so difficult to deal with, I have to write everything down
I cant speak all the time
changes minute to minute
praying for miracles this week....
when I first got sick, I had pain in my knee, couldnt walk
and then the pain in ankles, feet, could not stand
indesicriable pain I kept going to dr, they say you are fine
my fingers would not work, toes hurt
I would get lost in a place I knew my whole life
incredible memory probs...
it is all in your head, you are depressed, when I was so happy minus the pain, I tried so hard to get well, feel so abandended by god
vitamin d level so low and I live in Fl
body not asboring it.
all the symptoms, signs were there
lost of time, money, etc, stress, more stress is not good of course
It breaks my heart, going to dr, to dr,to dr, this was not suppose to be my life, and the drs just passed me around, in this small town.
no one knew what to do with me, I am so sad...
why couldnt this have been treated before it got so bad that it has affected me to the point that I could very well be homeless
it is so hard to use my higher functioning part of my brain.
if there was a camera 24hrs, on me these past yrs,so to speak
god........... I really needed help sooner. I tried so hard to get well earlier, I pray my body and brain can restore itself...
I was trying so hard to get well in the beginning, when it was physical , I was so active, great at yoga, etc, I was a size 6/8
and now I am a size 3x, body balloned out somehow, so quickly.
I had the american dream, and now, I could totally be homeless
I just wanted my story to be heard, if I get well I write a book.
just wanted part of my story documented somewhere. I dont want my life to be in vein.
I will just keep praying. the most imp. thing is for me to get well
then I can start my life over,
NO one else should get this. It is totally unfair.