I dont know about all what u r going through
just the part, that I once was known as a peacemaker, I was really into yoga for years, and went to several ashrams in india to do yoga for two months, everyday.
I was into reiki, meditation,going to spa, wearing essential oil, doing mantras,
loving, patient, kind,
and then.... lymes bart.
and I have trashed my house when I first got sick.
I felt like I was possessed, I felt like the incredible hulk like, something in my body making me 'crazd". I knew somethign of course was very wrong, my friends asked if I was drinking, doing drugs, all of the sudden.
something I dont do. They just did not understand, nor did I, why I was behaving like a totally dif. person.
this is the worst disease, it is out of a sci fi book
a true nightmare
I am so sorry what all u r going through, but I am grateful for your post
it helps me, know for sure, I am not alone in this heck. u r not either.
there is nothing else I can do, except listen, I hear u.
blessings to u,