confused (again...) & update

I've stopped abx for 11 weeks now (after 5,5 months on abx), trying to get the overall inflammation under controll, trying to recuperate. It's been interesting... meanwhile I started Buhner's Core Protocol.

I'll try to write in a clear way, not to jump from subject to subject – sorry if I do...

Herxing stopped: that was a HUGE relief. And whenever it comes up, I can easily controll it decreasing dosage.

My symptoms stayed though, less intense than when stopping the herbs. And that is still very hard to handle, cause they've been there for over half of my life, and it's getting too much at times...

I still have 7/7 24/24 headaches, I'm tired beyond imagination, severe joint pains, joint swellling, still gaining weight, overall muscle pains (type 'run over by a truck'), brain fog (disappears directly after coffee enemas!), on (most of the time) and off emotional wrek, problems concentrating, no muscle strength whatsoever, creepy crawlies under my skin, high heartrate, numb feeling in different parts of my body (coming and going), over sensitive senses, cold/hot flashes, more vision problems (huge increase in floaters, after images and blurry vision), pain on soles of my feet, 'frozen' joints when immobile for more than 5 minutes, increased air hunger, tension in back/neck, and minor complaints that are just there.

Meanwhile I have increased detoxing, I'm doing the bentonite/psylllium cleanse right now. I feel it's having it's effect: migraine like headaches, more cold/hot flashes and light nausea. I hope it'll do me good.

This weekend I started eliminating gluten from my diet (very difficult cause my diet was already very restricted), and I cut out sugar too (I was minding that for years, my sugar intake was already below average). So some major adaptations in lifestyle. It'll be difficult to maintain when going back to work again next week.

I had a bloodtest for tyroid and adrenal function. I'll get those results tomorrow. Very curious about that...

BUT: I'm seeing my dr next week and I'm really in doubt (like many people on here)... He's a real good dr, does good testing (but so expensive), but I don't know if I'll be able to handle these abx again. I got some real interesting information for a 'natural' treatment outside my country, but only a few hours away. But then: my dr is the only one treating TBD's in the whole country, what will happen if I let him go...? I feel trapped...

Difficult decissions to make. I hope I can somehow combine both.
I'm getting more and more confused and tired of it all...  

last time I talked to my dr, he stated that he doesn't want to combine cause there's no scientific 'security', side effects can't be measured, etc etc etc... he could be loosing his license when he does, especially because government is 'onto' him because of his out of the box thinking... 

so I'll  have to combine it in a 'clandestine' manner
My herxing was so terrible that I can't even imagine what abx together with herbals will do to me...

Maybe I'm worrying for nothing... but abx really scared me...

I've seen MTHFR very often on here, but everytime I look it up, I'm discouraged about the explanation on the www. I'm having difficulties reading complicated texts... (I feel so dumb lately) - How am I gonna ask my dr about that???