~ Q: What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon
A: God doesn’t think he is an orthopedic surgeon.
~ What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A double blind study!
~ Doc... "We have lost our patient."
Nurse... "Oh no... What happened?"
Doc... "He recovered."
~ Ronan kept going to the ophthalmic doctor because his eye hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem. The Doc told him, 'Your eye hurts when you drink tea,
so you can't drink tea.'
Ronan stuttered, 'But I love tea.' The doctor replied, 'Okay, as long as you take the spoon out.'
~ Iain speaks frantically into the phone, 'My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart.'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor queries. "No, you idiot.' Iain shouts. 'This is her husband.'
~Doctor Khan was giving a lecture to a group of medical students at the city hospital.
Pointing to the x-ray, he explained: "As you can see, this patient limps because his right fibula and tibia are radically arched."
The doctor looked up at the assembled students, and asked Sidney "Now what would you do in a case like this?"
Sidney piped up: "I suppose I would limp too."
~An element of the admission procedure in the hospital where consultant Tim Westwood worked, was to ask the new patients if they suffered from any allergies.
If they did, Tim got it printed on a special 'allergy band' which was then placed on the patient's wrist as a reference for all other hospital employees.
On one particular occasion Tim asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies. The old dear responded by saying that she was unable to eat bananas.
Tim received a considerable surprise later in the day when a very irate son came out of the ward demanding, 'Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?'