Yeah, I didn't even notice, for the first year or so. I attributed it to not being as active about
my studies, reading, feeding my mind as much, and drug and alcohol use. Sure, those things probably contributed a little, but definitely weren't the start of the fire. From there, the next couple years were slow, slow, slow as well. Over time, it'd taken a lot from me, but, being that its progress was so sluggish, I didn't really catch on to just how much I'd been affected.
It wasn't until about
the end of the 3rd year where I was like, okay, something is seriously wrong here, and it's not going away.
Took me another year to land on Lyme disease. It'd come up before then, but it wasn't until about
2012, going on 2013 that I was like, no, this has to be it. The symptoms, but, more than that, the horrifying realization that, all those years ago (2008) the bugs I'd awoke to crawling on my head after a nap were ticks. Totally just threw them to the floor, as if they were just some everyday type of bug, without even stopping to consider. Though, I tried to kill one, stepped on it, then noticed it was still alive. Tried to squish it with something. Still alive. Stabbed it with a pencil. That worked. Strange, I noticed, "its blood is red?" How stupid I was. If only people were warned about
But, yeah, it can be a slow thing. Took 3 years before I'd say I was sick enough to really take it seriously and try to find answers. 4 years before I'd say I was bad enough to be considered debilitated. 5 for sure.
Now, what, going on 8 years later - I'd love to be back at 3, 4 years of being sick, let alone completely health, pre-Lyme Antonio.
It's kind of like the healthy people who, even with all the problems of the day that could possibly plague them, don't realize how the fact that they don't have to deal with stuff like this is a blessing in itself, and that they should try to take note of that in the face of all the rest of the crap in an attempt to not be so weighed down by it. I get that people have problems, and how they appear to others may not exactly be how they appear to the individual. Like, I can't truly understand how badly that feels to you, 'cause I'm not you, you know? It's a matter of perspective. Because of that, I try not to judge, when I hear about
people who kill themselves over relationships, or stuff like that. People in good health, with lots of potential for crafting a better life for themselves. I try not to think, oh, God, what a waste, how weak, etc. Maybe that stuff was their Lyme disease? I don't know.
But, yeah, point is, it's bad now, but it's gonna get worse, if something's not done about
Today's bad days will become tomorrow's good days, and tomorrow's bad days, well, if you aren't contemplating suicide already, I'd think it hard for you not to be when they eventually come along.
You realize that though. Needs treatment. Definitely sounds like Lyme.
I don't have an actual diagnosis either - like, from an actual doctor - but I know for darn sure I'm sick, and I know what it's with, at least in regard to tickborne illnesses.
I've got a lot of other stuff that's come along with them that I'm not really sure about
though, side effects of the Lyme and possible coinfections stuff.
Too long, don't read: it was slow for me, so, yeah, definitely possible. you're right to consider Lyme. Keep trying to find the answers you need with the help of the fine people here.
Post Edited (NotQuiteAntonio) : 10/12/2015 1:12:20 AM (GMT-6)