Posted 6/12/2016 11:09 AM (GMT -7)
I'm in a similar situation. I work in a Jello factory. I don't know how damaging it is, but they spray hydrogen peroxide all throughout the plant, to keep everything sanitary. Everyone says it lightens your hair, which is true. I used to have very dark brown, near black hair. Now, it's like a chestnut brown. That means it's like damaging the pigments in my hair, right? I often wonder what else it is eating away at.
Plus, in certain areas where the Jello and pudding products are being produced before they go into their packaging, I can smell the aspartame or whatever they use in their sugar free stuff, and the fumes of the pudding itself. I'm not sure it's feeding any mold/fungal issues, but it definitely sets off sinus symptoms. I hate it.
I'd like to leave, but the thing is that it's fairly simple, and sometimes easy work for OK pay. There is not much serious physical labor, thinking, dealing with customers or clients, which are all things that I do not and/or could not deal with at the moment. It's definitely better than Walmart or McDonald's.
Though, I do have plans to try something else part-time within the next few months, when the time is right, just to see if I can manage it. It's relating to the career path I'd like to follow someday. But, I worry I'll be trading one group of risks for another.
It's sink or swim though.
See, right now, I'm lucky in that I don't have to work 40+ hours a week every week, struggling to support not only myself, a family, but also health issues. I'm able to put all my earnings towards getting better, and have time to focus on things outside of work, money, etc. I cannot imagine having to deal with this, bills, kids, all that.
Though, there's no telling how long this situation is going to last for me, which is why I'm trying to get as much done as possible now, even though my health (mind and body) is not really in a supportive position. Like, my chances are not good.
Part of me knows how stupid it is to try and act like my life isn't ruled by my illnesses, at least in part. Part of me knows how stupid it is to try and build and grow in ways that Lyme doesn't really allow for someone to do. But, another part of me realizes that I could very well have a brief window of time before I'm on my own.
The person I'm living with is 70 years old, and, while I hate to say it, she could go any day now. If that were to happen, I'd be screwed. I have no other family I could live with. Some do not give a darn about me, others can barely support themselves. With my current level of education and experience, I'd struggle to just pay the bills, eat, let alone buy meds and supplements.
No, I have to get to a place where I can support myself and all my needs ASAP, regardless of where my health is at now. Chances are slim now. They'd be worse then. I could not do this alone.
I know you guys know the feeling, the urgency, having to do something, no matter how hard or how much it pains you, because it's your only real choice for survival. Short-term, I wish I could take it easy, focus completely on getting my health right, etc. Long-term, if I do that, I'm setting myself up for failure in the long run in other areas of my life.
But, you know, could also be damaging my health.
Seems everything is a.. what's that.. a catch 22? Double-edged sword. Something could help me, but it's also gonna hurt me. Something like that. I have so many things like that. lol
Anyway.. I didn't mean to go off on this tangent, apologies. I was just thinking out loud again.