Out of Control Emotions/Bartonella Rage

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Alberta Lyme Gal
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/21/2016 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I am just feeling so hopeless today. I had terrible night terrors all night long, and my emotions are just out of control today... I was also very paranoid the past few days - usually another sign for me that these "rages" and other neuro symptoms are about to start. shakehead

My arms/hands aren't working well at all today and I dropped a whole bunch of stuff while trying to make a smoothie in the kitchen and just lost it, screaming yelling swearing and just about crying. Over spilled berries.

Worse, my boyfriend was home, and I honestly think he thinks I am losing my mind, we ended up in a huge fight because he heard me overreacting.

I feel like I am losing it a bit; whenever I go into this it's like I can't control it while it's happening and then suddenly I "wake up" out of it and even just getting mad a second ago seems silly and then the remorse and guilt over acting so ridiculously kicks in. Then anxiety follows. I don't even know anymore if this is just me and my own issues, or if this really could be lyme and bartonella just affecting my brain that badly.

For any of you that struggle with neuro lyme that affects your behaviour/emotional level or with bartonella who get this "bart rage", do you have any tips or tricks for ways to manage this? I just feel so out of control and I hate it

multifacetedme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2016
Total Posts : 1586
   Posted 6/21/2016 2:05 PM (GMT -6)   
therapy, continue your protocol, adjust it if it isn't working, be patient with yourself, don't over do it, develop a mindfulness practice, take time to be in nature, know that it WILL get better.
Questing Health: Dr. #1 - Western Blot and Elisa from a non-lyme lab nearly 100% rules out lyme, Dr. #2 - Naturopath who is symptom free from lyme - clinical diagnosis of lyme and co-infections, Dr. #3, Infectious Disease Dr., Negative blood work rules out lyme and she said "don't you think now that your aneurysm is repaired these other symptoms will clear up?", Dr. #4, Dr. in Chinese med. LYME!

Denikeef
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Date Joined Aug 2015
Total Posts : 1092
   Posted 6/21/2016 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Alberta, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know it feels like so much of this is out of your control.

I want to give you some herbs that you can try from Buhner's latest edition of "Healing Lyme".

He advises for feelings of rage:
Uncaria rhyncyophylla...(Chinese Cats Claw), (I have not been able to find this, so if anyone knows where you can get it that would be helpful.)
and...or...
Cryptolepis sanguinolenta tincture 1/2 tsp. 3-6 x day
and...or...
Tryptophan 1000-1500 mg 3 x day

I don't struggle with the feelings of rage very often, (probably only because right now my life is pretty stress free) but I know that it is a symptom of neuro lyme. It must be very hard to deal with.

If you haven't already I would give your boyfriend some "Lyme Facts" to help him understand the disease better. Perhaps you could go to the "New to Lyme-start here" at the top of the page (if you haven't already) and you and him look over the symptom lists together. Maybe he will understand what you are going through a little better. There is so much great information there that you might want to look it over just to see what all this site offers.

Another thing I thought of is Detoxing.

When the brain gets toxic it affects a lot of things.

You will want to do several things daily. Especially when feeling "brain toxic"...one of the things that really helps me is Activated Charcoal. I take two a night late at night two to three hours away from everything else.

I am sure others who deal with this will be able to help more!

Denise K

Post Edited (Denikeef) : 6/21/2016 2:29:01 PM (GMT-6)


Denikeef
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Date Joined Aug 2015
Total Posts : 1092
   Posted 6/21/2016 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
www.tiredoflyme.com/detox-methods.html

Here is the site in case you did not get it!

Post Edited By Moderator (Girlie) : 6/21/2016 4:00:02 PM (GMT-6)


Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 36310
   Posted 6/21/2016 3:18 PM (GMT -6)   
These articles may be of help for your boyfriend, to see that you are far from the only one with these issues:
www.publichealthalert.org/ignore-bartonella-and-die-trivializing-bartonella-is-like-ignoring-tnt.html

buhnerhealinglyme.com/symptoms/sudden-onset-explosive-rage/


www.benbrew.com/lb/lb.html - this one has a section called "effects on relationships", not quite half way down the page - this is where Bartonella rage is talked about.

I too had massive rage issues. When I felt them coming on, I only had about 3 minutes to direct my anger at something of my choosing - otherwise it was the next poor soul I came across. My rage was so very real and so very frightening to me as it wasn't something that I could control at all. It felt like someone else or something else had complete control of me and my emotions.

I would go outside and split firewood, or even find a large sturdy branch and beat the daylights out of the poor tree. I know the neighbors were wondering a few times what the heck I was doing that for, and it did scare my husband - but I made it through. Find ways to release the anger in a more controlled manner - like being outside throwing things and yelling or whatever 'fits' for you. That was my only choice, well and doing all I could to heal.
Herb only treatment for Lyme & Bart ended 12/11 - no active symptoms for 2 yrs -Herb only treatment for Babesia ended 12/12
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2977364
Had Lyme, Bart, Babs, RMSF, Ehrlichia, Myco, Anaplasmosis, EBV
New Lyme case 8/2014 - Healed 1/31/15 - unknowingly had Asymptomatic Babs and Asymptomatic Bart, being treated now though (2/2016)

Krimpet 🍔
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 3274
   Posted 6/21/2016 3:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Try the nutramedix Pinella and burbur, they seem to help calm the mind. Be careful with tryptophan. It's not useful for everyone. This can go down the wrong pathway in the brain (kynurenine pathway) and add to the rage and/or depression. Use a small amount and see how you do.
Krimpet

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 32549
   Posted 6/21/2016 4:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Alberta - sorry you're going through this.
I agree with the others about detoxing. You need to get those toxins out of you.

Are you treating the infections now?
Sometimes we need to scale back a bit in our treatment.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14; added biaxin Sept. 26/14 Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.; Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin); Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif; Nov. switched mino to biaxin.

Denikeef
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2015
Total Posts : 1092
   Posted 6/21/2016 4:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Krimpet, thank you for the note on Tryptophan. I don't use it so did not know that and would not want someone to not be aware of that.

Alberta, you will want to look up the side affects on any herbs you would try.
Lyme Moderator

Tested Igenix positive for Lyme March 2016.
Lyme symptoms for possibly 40+ years but severe in the last 5 after traumas to the system.
Currently treating with Buhner's Protocol for Lyme and Bart while waiting for a LLMD visit.

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 36310
   Posted 6/21/2016 4:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, thank you Krimpet! I use tryptophan (1500 mgs), but it's for sleep issues, and I no longer have that rage, so I didn't realize it could add to it. But, I now have a note about it, so hopefully I can remember to warn anyone that is asking about it.
Herb only treatment for Lyme & Bart ended 12/11 - no active symptoms for 2 yrs -Herb only treatment for Babesia ended 12/12
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2977364
Had Lyme, Bart, Babs, RMSF, Ehrlichia, Myco, Anaplasmosis, EBV
New Lyme case 8/2014 - Healed 1/31/15 - unknowingly had Asymptomatic Babs and Asymptomatic Bart, being treated now though (2/2016)

1000Daisies
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Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2421
   Posted 6/21/2016 9:24 PM (GMT -6)   
whenever I go into this it's like I can't control it while it's happening and then suddenly I "wake up" out of it and even just getting mad a second ago seems silly and then the remorse and guilt over acting so ridiculously kicks in.

^ You are NOT alone. This is what it was like for one of my kids. It's like it took over him, and then when he "woke up" (as you called it), he felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I'm not sure what was worse - the rage or the after-rage guilt!?!

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you on this. But do know that you aren't alone. And there IS hope. My kid is well past that symptom. But I won't lie to you - it was a very, very difficult time period (especially since we didn't understand what was going on for awhile). Sending many {{{HUGS}}} your way!
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, improved now but not fully well
Kid#2: Very sick now despite being treated for years
Kid#3: Doing very well (ironically had the least and shortest treatment)
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids) - not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue issues

Pirouette
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2014
Total Posts : 6201
   Posted 6/21/2016 10:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Alberta - all really great responses. I call these types of symptoms "psycho-neuro" and they are THE WORST symptoms of all for me. I couldn't walk last year, have suffered debilitating insomnia and have been incapacitated by pain and in the ER for GI attacks. None of it even touched the fear that you are psychotic and cannot control your thoughts, emotions or actions. So I am there with you.

Excellent suggestions for your boyfriend. The more he understands, the less he will by frustrated by and the more he can actually help you. You can come up with key words or phrases that he can say to help you be more aware of when you might be having an attack on your brain. This isn't you, your brain has been hijacked by the infection.

Hang in there and keep fighting. It was very smart of you to post!

-p
Lyme Moderator
Chronic late-stage lyme—likely infected in 2000; Clinically dx Mar'14 w/ Babs, + for Bart, CDC + for Bb. Multiple viruses & GI/immune treated first; started AL-Complex in May, A-Bart & A-Bab in July; Nov'14 IV port installed-started Rocephin; added vancomycin Mar'16
DETOX: Pinella/Burbur/Parsley/Milk thistle/Burdock root; cholestyramine / jap. knotweed L-5-MTHFR LMN-V-II probiotic

julymorning
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 3827
   Posted 6/21/2016 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I discovered I was having them while I was taking the abx Flagyl. However it likely was a herxing reaction to the die off in my brain, rather than a side affect to the Flagyl itself.

So, lots of lemon water for me, quiet time alone, and any other detox methods I have on hand.

I felt my rages were justified, but I admit I would get borderline manic. Now when something angers me, like just discovering the wall (drywall) next to my kitchen door has been kicked in by my live in paid caretaker who's no longer my partner in any way, the worst I do is go to my room and slam the door. And let him fend for himself for dinner.

I've been mostly chilled out for about 3 weeks now, and am terrified of going back on abx's or anything else heavy handed on the Lyme/bugs. The constant horrible headaches are gone too, somehow. And the vibrations.
Fibro diagnosed '85 Lyme positive '92 untreated,Osteoporosis, COPD, Hypertension, degen. disc disease, RMSF pos. Spring 2015, Cong. Heart Failure, osteoarthritis. Treating PHY. an Internist, LLMD out of the question. Used Doxy, Zithro and Flagyl since June '15, self pulsed.

PantsFace
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2016
Total Posts : 151
   Posted 6/22/2016 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Piroutte, I think I've found my lyme twin!!! I was on crutches for 8 months, in the ER 3 times this year for GI, and a "non epileptic seizure", insomnia, night sweats, and the rage!

Alberta, I have the same things happen to me. I get especially emotional when I drop things, or fall down the stairs for the 5th tim..... It's all very frustrating. With me, it's usually crying and rage all together. Therapy has helped me COPE with these issues, but it sure as h*ll doesn't keep it from happening!!!

Knowing WHY it's happening, helps reduce the "fallout" time for me. It still happens, and there is nothing I can do, but let it, know that it will pass (it sucks having to just accept this right now), and try and shift my focus.

Afterwards, when it passes, I keep on keeping on. Breathing properly, clearing my mind, taking a step back, all help me get through it. Stop what you are doing, breath deep for 5 seconds (or more if you can!) 10 times. Make sure you breath properly, puff out that belly, not the chest! Think of nothing if you can, for me I just allow my brain to go blank (not always possible, but it really does help if you can do it), and allow my ENTIRE body to destress, actually feel your muscles relaxing, the tension releasing.

Sit down while doing that! My husband and I had many long discussions about my rage. It was rarely ever towards him, but I was falling apart because I didn't know why it was happening (didn't know until these past few months, it's been a trying 10 years!). We discussed how he could help pull me out of the rages, using specific words ("it's happening", a phrase from a funny show we like), will help me. Having support and understanding from others is a big help. Educate yourself and that boyfriend!

You are not alone, and having neuro issues really ******* sucks (they all suck), but there are lots of us who are right there with you, and cheering you on :) Things will get better, always remember that.

1000Daisies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2421
   Posted 6/22/2016 1:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Don't you just wonder about all these people who have mental health symptoms but are being failed to be help because nobody makes the connection back to tick-born diseases and other causes? I know the mental health field is greatly flawed. But I just can't help but think about all those suffering (and continuing to suffer) because some medical professional didn't connect the dots.

I also would be fascinated to know what population of criminals/jails/prisons/mental hopsitals have some type of tick-born disease affecting their behavior.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming all wrong doings on lyme and company. But I do believe it's much more prevalent than what the general public realizes.
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, improved now but not fully well
Kid#2: Very sick now despite being treated for years
Kid#3: Doing very well (ironically had the least and shortest treatment)
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids) - not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue issues

Traveler
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 36310
   Posted 6/22/2016 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
There is a Psychotherapist (Lori Dennis) that is now writing about the devastation that Lyme can cause - her son is infected and they are still trying to find what works for him. He's had some serious psych. issues with these infections. She's written a book that is due to come out this summer/fall and I'll be buying this book - besides, my story is one of many contained in her book!

And I agree with you, 1000Daisies. It would be VERY interesting if we had reliable testing to test each and every one of those that are in the population of criminals/jails/prisons/mental hospitals. I don't believe that tick-borne infections are the cause of all of their troubles, but I'm sure it would be very interesting to see what percentage actually are dealing with the devastation we know as Lyme and company.
Herb only treatment for Lyme & Bart ended 12/11 - no active symptoms for 2 yrs -Herb only treatment for Babesia ended 12/12
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2977364
Had Lyme, Bart, Babs, RMSF, Ehrlichia, Myco, Anaplasmosis, EBV
New Lyme case 8/2014 - Healed 1/31/15 - unknowingly had Asymptomatic Babs and Asymptomatic Bart, being treated now though (2/2016)

LilaJ
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2017
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 6/14/2018 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
I have terrible rages after waking at 1 am, for hours
I used to be placid
Now it scares me it's so intense and l imagine breaking things up
I've very weak stomach and go problems so worried about flagyl
Will look into herbs as suggested above and hope...
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