First of all, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with so much. Sounds like you also have depersonalization/derealization as well. That's like loosing the ability to be 'in touch' with yourself, and likely why you don't "feel much" about
the relationship ending, or that crying actually helps in any way.
Here are two rather extensive Bartonella symptom lists: www.personalconsult.com/posts/bartonella-checklist.htmlwww.gordonmedical.com/unravelling-complex-chronic-illness/bartonella-like-organisms-blo-consideration-signs-and-symptoms/
Herb only treatment for Lyme & Bart ended 12/11 - no active symptoms for 2 yrs -Herb only treatment for Babesia ended 12/12www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2977364
Had Lyme, Bart, Babs, RMSF, Ehrlichia, Myco, Anaplasmosis, EBV
New Lyme case 8/2014 - Healed 1/31/15 - unknowingly had Asymptomatic Babs and Asymptomatic Bart, being treated now though (2/2016)