Hi Mergirl, so sorry you're feeling this way!
I understand the fear that comes with the neuro issues. I always think the neuro/ mental stuff is the worst! Don't get me wrong, the physical stuff can be the worst too, but somehow doesn't make me panic in quite the same way as neuro/ mental stuff can.
I also understand the feeling of having lost your sense of self. Its indescribably awful. So often I look at my life & think " this isn't me, this isn't my life..." I just want to step out of this horrible life & back into my own body , my own life...(but of course on some level I know that this IS my life. ) For now. Only for NOW.
I think being dependent on family brings its own challenges. I am also unable to work, and my father & brother have been helping me extensively. I am so grateful to them for helping me, but it still hurts. I also lost almost everything, and that hurts too. It's hard to be so sick & not have a leg to stand on. It's hard to be so sick and know that any stability you have is not your own.
I try to remember that having family willing to help me is a great gift. I also try to remind myself that I DO bring something unique & special into my family & my relationships with family members- even though I feel like a total bum right now. You might try to remind yourself of the same thing.
I have to hold onto the belief that my body & brain & every single part of me will get better. I honestly believe that we can both heal. I know it will take time, and money, and probably different protocols for each of us, but I do believe it's possible.
Sounds like you've already gotten lots of great advice reguarding treatments, and detox etc... but , if you don't already you might want to try yogi brand detox tea- it's easy to add into your day & actually tastes good too. I alternate it with another 2 detox teas, but I think the yogi is the most gentle & easy to drink.
I also try to increase my turmeric intake when I'm feeling this way. I make tea eaither from the powder & some black pepper , or use a turmeric tea made by Traditional Medicinals. ( I also add black pepper to their tea. )
But basically I just wanted to reach out & say I'm thinking of you! Hang in there...
I'd say more, but I'm pretty brain fried myself right now.
Ps. Hope the burbur/pinella helps you! It has helped me!
I agree totally. I lived in horrific physical pain for years, I still get some but not to the extent that I used to. Lately, all I've been thinking is that I rather have all of that unexplained physical agony back rather then my current brain and heart issues. Not saying one is easier than the other by any means but It just felt different.
Infact, I've been so out of it I keep forgetting I make these threads then realizing a day or two later that I forgot and what I said. I thought last year, maybe I can get a job working from home if I'm in too much pain to leave the house. Now, I wouldn't last working for a day with being so out of it and forgetful. It scares the pants off me. I knowI keep saying that but it does. I was already afraid since early onset alz runs in my family. NOW the past year I started to think that's what was happening to me, and my docs kept telling me I had "fibro fog" or even better ADD. Ha!
"I also understand the feeling of having lost your sense of self. Its indescribably awful. So often I look at my life & think " this isn't me, this isn't my life..." I just want to step out of this horrible life & back into my own body , my own life...(but of course on some level I know that this IS my life. ) For now. Only for NOW."
I reallly relate to this too. I feel like that's the worst part. Feeling like a zombie and finding it hard to even remember who I was or even the things I liked and enjoyed doing. Just everytime I try to use my brain at all for anything there's just this huge block there. I also say all the time, "this isn't me and my life". I have a very hard time accepting the way things are and have for a long time. Thanks for reminding me that it's temporary. I just hope your right.
I hate to say this but I honestly don't feel like I'm adding anything to anyone's life lately. Really. My family is very small. Most are gone and the one who took me in was great in doing that but doesn't understand. I feel like I outstayed my welcome long ago. She doesn't make me feel that way but it's just how I feel in this specific situation. I was only supposed to stay with her for a year after surgery and that surgery was the beginning of the end as far as this taking over my whole body bit by bit.
I do think we can heal too. It just hard to keep believing sometimes when I don't feel/see any changes taking place yet. But I'm sure your right. I'm just not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this some days.
I just started taking the pinella/burbur yesterday. Does it take a while? My fog actually feels worse then yesterday or is this something that's supposed to help right away?
Thanks for the detox tea suggestion. I definitely give it a shot. I already do take tumeric caps but I'm thinking maybe I should go back to doing tumeric / black pepper shots in water. I'm not sure if these caps have the black pepper or not. I'll have to check.
Thanks again casa. Really appreciate it and I hope your brain heals soon too!