I'm very sorry for the careless attitude you received from the hotline you called. Obviously, the person with whom you spoke was not properly trained to handle a person in crisis. You did the right thing by calling the hotline. Unfortunately, they let you down.
If you would permit me to make a suggestion, I'd ask that you call one of the other hotline numbers that Girlie mentioned in her reply. Or, for more urgent help, please consider having a close, trusted friend/relative go with you to your nearest Emergency Room.
The way you were treated on that hotline really angers me. Of course, you're not too young to get sick, have troubles, or be taken serious. The folks on this forum take you serious, I promise. We've all suffered in various ways for varying lengths of time -- some people for 20, 30, or more years. The good news is that many people have healed and moved-on with their lives.
I think it's a good sign, too, that, despite how bad you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally, you are still concerned about
your Mother. To me, this proves the "normal" part of you in still present. All the other thoughts and feelings are not the real you. That is your brain being hijacked by Lyme Disease and Co-Infections. We've seen it over-and-over again in this community. Once people start treating, they start getting better, and the negative voices, thoughts, and symptoms start improving.
Oh, by the way, speaking of treating, many people have healed from Lyme Disease and Co-Infections without going to a clinic in Germany. Some people have done it with local providers in their town, some have done Skype consultations with providers in other states or countries, and some have healed on their own by reading books and taking supplements at home. This is not a complete list, of course. But, you get the idea. Most people have done many different things, until they found what worked for them.
Many of us with "Lyme Brain" have trouble reading and/or concentrating. But, if/when you're able, please consider reviewing any of the following resources:buhnerhealinglyme.combuhnerhealinglyme.com/resources/herbalists/www.amazon.com/Stephen-Harrod-Buhner/e/B000APJOG6betterhealthguy.com
- Click the "Lyme" tab. (45
Doctors missed his Lyme Disease!)/chroniclymediseasesummit.com/speakers
- Let me know of any videos you want to see.chroniclymediseasesummit2.com/schedule
- Let me know of any videos you want to see./rawlsmd.com/lyme-support/rawlsmd.com/health-conditions/lyme-disease/rawlsmd.com/health-articles/best-rawlsmd-2017-our-top-10-chronic-illness-stories/www.amzn.com/B01N7WMNIP/www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=3884650
I'm sorry, as I know that's a lot of information. There's so much more we could share with you. I believe the more you able to align yourself with those who are on your side and focused on getting better, the more your spirits will be uplifted. In turn, you will see more hope and possibility.
Finally, I understand you feel trapped in your situation. Just recently, in my own life, I felt trapped in a job that I no longer liked, working for a company that I never liked. Despite the job aggravating my existing health issues and making things even worse, I stayed in the job, because of the salary and benefits. Eventually, I realized that I was staying in the job, so I could have the money and health insurance that allowed me to go to the doctor and discuss how the job was making me even sicker.
Well, just this past week, I quit. Now, I'm not suggesting that you quit college, your job, or anything else. In my case, I'd slowly been preparing for this eventuality and saving money. So, I positioned myself to be able to quit. But, I suffered in the process, staying longer than I would have liked.
My point is that, ultimately, we're all responsible for ourselves. Sometimes, we have to make difficult decisions that force us outside our comfort zone, in order to do what we know is ultimately in our best interest. In an ideal world, the people we love and care about
the most would help us. Unfortunately, the reality is, they usually don't. There could be many reasons. But, I don't think it's a lack of concern is one of them. Most people are just doing the best they can with their current level of awareness. If they knew better, they would do better. So, in my opinion, spending time or attention on the matter is not worthwhile. It's better to focus on the things you can control and change.
Again, this is about
YOU! Always put your health and well-being first. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest in mind. To the extent that you're able, minimize your contact with anyone else -- even if that includes family and friends. At least, until you recover. This is a healing and building-up period for you. Do your best to avoid anything/anyone that tears you down.
And, stay connected with us. Ask questions, vent, share your victories and progress. Personally, I want to know how things go for you. I'm cheering for you, because I know things can and will get better for you.
Sending you lots of love and good wishes,