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PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/10/2018 1:38 PM (GMT -6)   
It is rainy and gloomy outside so I went looking for funnies to perk me up while I am doing my work.

Thought you might want to enjoy along with me and perhaps add to the funnies.

There were 2 olives sitting on the counter and one rolled onto the floor.
The one on top looks down and says, "Are you okay?"
The other one says, "Olive."

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/10/2018 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: If it had four, it would be a sedan.

The Dude Abides
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 1134
   Posted 1/10/2018 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
PeteZa said...
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

A: If it had four, it would be a sedan.


Ahahahahahahahaha... I love this!!!

dacarte3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 1897
   Posted 1/10/2018 6:49 PM (GMT -6)   
PeteZa said...
It is rainy and gloomy outside so I went looking for funnies to perk me up while I am doing my work.

Thought you might want to enjoy along with me and perhaps add to the funnies.

There were 2 olives sitting on the counter and one rolled onto the floor.
The one on top looks down and says, "Are you okay?"
The other one says, "Olive."


This jokes makes you realize that we really messed up when we decided how to spell Olive (Ahlive).
Lyme (Igenex) - Positive IFA and WB bands 23, 31, 41
Ehrlichia (Igenex)
Mycoplasma (Labcorp) - Score: 595

ABX Treatment: 03/2016-04/2016; 7/2017-9/2017
Buhner Protocol for Lyme and Mycoplasma: May 2016 - Dec. 2016; 8/2017 - Present

bluelyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 4724
   Posted 1/11/2018 3:59 AM (GMT -6)   
How many persons with lyme does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait i forgot ...1 to remind the other to pick up bulbs from store . One to order online because we spaced it .then one to get the package from the post box because 100 yards seems way too far today . Then i call 2 more to bring the ladder while we discuss protocols and supplement lists to rival war and peace" then one to hold the light bulb and 47 more to turn the mobile home as i had to sell my home cash 401k and take a loan to continue the next fringe treatment and buy a environmental friendly led mercury free smart bulb so ill never have to change it again and i can turn it of from the bed or chair that may be home for long while ....just joshin yaddameen it gets better i changed a bulb all by myself after 2.2 yrs hd treatment

goshawk
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2016
Total Posts : 2123
   Posted 1/11/2018 4:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Bumping for more giggles and fun today

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/11/2018 10:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Blue, you crack me up.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison.

The Dude Abides
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 1134
   Posted 1/11/2018 2:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Q: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

A: "Make me one with everything."

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/11/2018 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
LOL!! Good one Dude.

The Dude Abides
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 1134
   Posted 1/11/2018 4:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Two cannibals were eating a clown.

One turns to the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/11/2018 9:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Dude I spewed water on my monitor! That is hilarious.


What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

The Dude Abides
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 1134
   Posted 1/12/2018 1:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad you enjoyed it, PeteZa! smile

Here's another:

A husband was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror. He was not happy with what he saw and said to his wife: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

His wife replied: "Your eyesight is perfect."

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/12/2018 10:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way.

Mojkce
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 1/12/2018 2:22 PM (GMT -6)   
No offense anyone but this one always makes me laugh! Especially if you're a very visual person!


Who is the most popular person in the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and 12 donuts......

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/12/2018 3:12 PM (GMT -6)   
LOL!!!

xfmlg
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2014
Total Posts : 166
   Posted 1/17/2018 7:37 AM (GMT -6)   
What do you call a sleeping buffalo?

A bulldozer.

PeteZa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 9729
   Posted 1/17/2018 10:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Did you hear what happened to the illegally parked frog?

He was Toad.

WalkingbyFaith
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 1682
   Posted 1/17/2018 11:34 AM (GMT -6)   
I wish I knew how to tell funny jokes. I don't have that gift, but I'm busting my ribs laughing at these. Thanks to all for providing the humor.

bluelyme,
You're hysterical!!!!😂😂
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