Clearly there is no empathy there. People are so impulsive now too, they avoid pain at all costs and only look for a quick fix for pleasure. I should've known better. Most people my age don't want to work on relationships, let alone a long distance one with a chronically ill person.
I see in your signature that you're 22 years old. You still have many years ahead of you, so I would urge caution in not painting everyone with the same brush. The younger folks today are certainly different than when I was your/their age (my parents would have said the same thing about
my generation), but there are still good people out there. Unfortunately, it's a numbers game.
Anyway, I'm very sorry for your pain. Of course, the parting of ways was not your fault. First, you didn't choose this confounding condition. Secondly, I don't think you "should've known better." I think you were right to give it a try, because, if we stop trying things, due to fear of pain or loss, where does that leave us? That would be a pretty sad life, I think.
I think what magoo2 wrote is very wise:"While a supportive partner would be a blessing, being alone is much better than a non-supportive partner. Focus on getting better and trust the good Lord has something great waiting for you."
I'm also reminded of some passages I read from the Lebanese poet Kahlil Gibran's book The Prophet
. I first read the book around age 18 or 19, when a friend loaned it to me.On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."On Pain
Kahlil Gibran"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears."
While I sort of understood the intent, when I first read them, I wasn't sure I necessarily agreed. But, now, over three decades later, they make more sense. The writing didn't change. I did.
The events that caused me the most pain in my life were also the circumstances that allowed me to grow the most. For better or worse, that's often how it goes. I even include Lyme Disease in the list, as it's been one of my greatest teachers. I previously scoffed at the idea that a chronic condition could be something for which to be grateful. But, now, several years later, I understand.
Again, I'm truly sorry for your heartache over the situation. You're right to be hurt and upset. Do what you need to do, in order to grieve the situation. That should allow you to move beyond it and gain some perspective on it. One day, in the not-too-distant future, I predict you will look back on the matter and be grateful that it turned-out the way it did, given all the circumstances.
Until then, we'll still be here for you.