Emotional numbness/emptiness..

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TheJay
New Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/9/2018 10:20 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel I've lost interest in everything, i no longer get excited or look forward to anything. I really want to feel these emotions but I'm just not able to, I'm completely disconnected from them.. I've felt like this everyday for almost 3 years now and it's sucking the joy out of living.

I did just find out that I'm sick from lyme and bartonella 2 months ago (tested positive), and started treatment. I'm really hoping the treatment will resolve this, but I'm not holding my breath.

Has anyone else here had this symptom? It really sucks, and just makes me want to give up.

1000Daisies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2473
   Posted 3/9/2018 10:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, one of my kids had this to a very extreme degree. It was really, really, really bad.

He is now well for over a year now. So, I share this with you that it is definitely possible to get that zest for life back again (although for us, it wasn't an easy journey).

That is a really terrible feeling that you are going through. Truly beyond difficult. My heart goes out to you!
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, but doing great now!
Kid#2: Still sick now despite being treated for years but doing better (not well yet).
Kid#3: Generally good but relapsing off/on.
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids)-not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue and yeast issues (heart/kidney issues resolved)
Treating with herbals now.

borrelioburgdorferii
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 3/9/2018 11:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Unfortunately, yes. At my last family get-together (the last one I went to was over 7 yrs ago) my uncle must have thought I was cold, indifferent (or now family thinking I think I'm better than everyone, but how dead my emotions are and truly would rather be alone all the time), but along with my facial expression (pretty sure it was facial palsy, just couldn't make the appropriate face of listening, reacting to a joke, laughing or anything-- and then the alarming emotional palsy). Antidepressants barely scratch the surface of helping me feel any hope, euphoria or excitement. Any one who hasn't experienced it wouldn't understand, it's too easy for misunderstandings, relationships fall apart, families no longer care and think it's just you not a disease.

It's easier at the grocery store when I'm spacing out to just tell them I have autism, much easier understood than the longer explanation of multiple chronic systemic infections.

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33795
   Posted 3/9/2018 12:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, I've experienced that...just feel like nothing interests me now.

Almost like a low-level depression.

I have to say recently though, I've had some good days - almost no pain...or head issues...and on those days I have had some enthusiasm come back.

So, for me it may be connected to the physical symptoms I have...it does wear on you after years of this crap.

Hope you see some improvement soon, TheJay.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

acarined
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 3/9/2018 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I had this symptom for decades, psilocybin can temporarily relieve it, and a longterm herbal protocol has started to make more permanent headway. I'd rather have the loss of emotion than rage and panic.

Woodduck12
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2017
Total Posts : 156
   Posted 3/9/2018 1:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, I have had this and was told it was seasonal depression. I felt like I was just a machine at one point. It was tough because I usually operate with high compassion and have multiple interest. What really freaked me out

Lapis_29
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 882
   Posted 3/9/2018 3:20 PM (GMT -6)   
you could try the acetycholine protocol. I and other have had good results with this, specifcially anti depressive affects


To Sum UP

the lyme bacteria secrete a neurotoxin called Bbtox1 that disables acetylcholine production which can result in depression

To treat this you need to take something to stimulate acetylcholine production + depress the enzyme that breaks down Acetycholine

so the protocol is like


Huperzine A +EGCG+ alpha GPC + DHA



/www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=3931788

another thing to look into is nuerogenesis, which is the production of new brain cells in the brain. This is suprressed by ABX


/www.selfhacked.com/blog/ways-increase-neurogenesis

Post Edited (Lapis_29) : 3/9/2018 1:23:31 PM (GMT-7)


Aerose91
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 538
   Posted 3/9/2018 4:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I have this and it's very extreme. It's like an unending nothingness. No feelings, no connection to reality- nothing. Its not even emptiness because you can feel empty. This is deeper

The only definitive diagnosis i have is bartonella and I've heard it can cause this. It's truely awful tho.

Hang in there, you're not alone

WalkingbyFaith
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 1988
   Posted 3/9/2018 5:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I never gave much thought to the depersonalization/derealization aspect since I didn't think I had that. Now, after reading the responses here, I realize I have had this to various degrees and in various forms throughout my life.

My parents used to chide me for being antisocial and rude. There were periods in my life when I was reclusive and aloof. There were many reasons for that, not all of them Lyme-related, but I can definitely see now how Lyme contributed to what I used to think was just my weirdness or personality quirks.

Like Girlie, my physical symptoms have a strong influence on my emotions, enthusiasm, and social behavior. I have always been that way. Since I spent much of my life not feeling great, it's had a big part in the big picture for me. I know even now when I have my few good days, I'm so much happier and friendlier and more talkative. I smile and laugh like the best me.

I've never had the extreme dissociation that some of you have had or with the constancy some have, but I suppose it's been there more than I realized kind of like a cloud over my life. I feel for those who've had this severely or for prolonged periods. I hope and pray you will find something that breaks that stuff off of you for good and lets you be free again mentally and emotionally.

Lapis_29
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 882
   Posted 3/9/2018 6:40 PM (GMT -6)   
acarined said...
I had this symptom for decades, psilocybin can temporarily relieve it, and a longterm herbal protocol has started to make more permanent headway. I'd rather have the loss of emotion than rage and panic.


what does the protocol consist of?

I might have some suggestoins for add ons

acarined
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 3/9/2018 9:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Lapis_29 said...
acarined said...
I had this symptom for decades, psilocybin can temporarily relieve it, and a longterm herbal protocol has started to make more permanent headway. I'd rather have the loss of emotion than rage and panic.


what does the protocol consist of?

I might have some suggestoins for add ons


Supplements: Fish oil, zinc; vitamins d, k2, a, e, c; magnesium, MSM, silica, glucosamine/chondroitin, ALA, NAC, P5P, B6, B12, folate, serine, transfer factor
Herbs: Knotweed, andrographis, cat's claw, houttuynia, sida cordifolia, berberine, smilax, milk thistle, garlic, oregano oil, clove oil
Pharmaceuticals: minocycline, bactrim, omnicef, azithromycin, atovaquone, LDN, trimethoprim, hydroxycholorquine

I can't take anything that causes vasodilation or it will give me a migraine. I've been taking serine as an experiment to raise acetylcholine and lower cortisol, so far I'm doing well on 150 mg. What's odd is that lecithin supplements and a-GPC give me horrible flareups of neuropathy and myalgias. At first I assumed it was related to acetylcholine, but I think serine has ruled that out. I also can't tolerate LDN at any dose, it's caused flareups that led to nerve damage.

Lapis_29
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 882
   Posted 3/9/2018 9:42 PM (GMT -6)   
acarined said...
Lapis_29 said...
acarined said...
I had this symptom for decades, psilocybin can temporarily relieve it, and a longterm herbal protocol has started to make more permanent headway. I'd rather have the loss of emotion than rage and panic.


what does the protocol consist of?

I might have some suggestoins for add ons


Supplements: Fish oil, zinc; vitamins d, k2, a, e, c; magnesium, MSM, silica, glucosamine/chondroitin, ALA, NAC, P5P, B6, B12, folate, serine, transfer factor
Herbs: Knotweed, andrographis, cat's claw, houttuynia, sida cordifolia, berberine, smilax, milk thistle, garlic, oregano oil, clove oil
Pharmaceuticals: minocycline, bactrim, omnicef, azithromycin, atovaquone, LDN, trimethoprim, hydroxycholorquine

I can't take anything that causes vasodilation or it will give me a migraine. I've been taking serine as an experiment to raise acetylcholine and lower cortisol, so far I'm doing well on 150 mg. What's odd is that lecithin supplements and a-GPC give me horrible flareups of neuropathy and myalgias. At first I assumed it was related to acetylcholine, but I think serine has ruled that out. I also can't tolerate LDN at any dose, it's caused flareups that led to nerve damage.


I see well most of my suggstions do in fact have vasodialatory affects

have you tried curcumin and/or boswelia?

Spanish
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 3/10/2018 2:19 AM (GMT -6)   
I have had this to the extreme also, during the first couple of months of treatment for Lyme I felt like I was going to die and honestly couldnt have cared if I did. This is so not like me and looking vack now its scary to see how my mind set had changed.

I now now feel a much better mentally and protocol suggested by lapis has definitely helped a bit

acarined
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 230
   Posted 3/10/2018 12:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I do take curcumin, I forgot it. I'll try the boswellia.

thedogma
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 3/15/2018 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Kind of.

I'm sorry you have dealt with that.

I feel like I'm in shock from everything that has happened, and I deal with life in a detached way, just in case something bad happens.

It's like PTSD and depersonalization. I think it's partially due to my inability to sit with the pain/symptoms, so I disassociate.

I'm looking for ways to deal with that, right now, because my symptoms are pretty significant.
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