Ability vs depression

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10LymeB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 685
   Posted 4/17/2018 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
It often occurs to me that my 90 year old grandmother used to cook meals while holding onto the counter. She must have been in a lot of pain. Unable to walk very well, she would sit in a chair and plan out how she would pick up something on the floor and put it away. She called them "floaters". It would take a while to get that thing and put it away. One thing.

That said, my biggest complaints have been joint pain, depression, anxiety, fatigue, vertigo, digestion, and heart pounding. I'm sure my grandmother had all that. Maybe not depression. She did what she had to do and I know there are so many of you out there pushing through the fatigue. I feel like I'm being a big baby. I get winded coming up the stairs and have to lay down. I can't stand for very long without getting tired. So I rest or lay down all day and my life and home are a disaster. I'm also afraid of pushing myself and making things worse.

God, how did my grandmother do it? Is it better to push through or just lay down like a log all day conserving energy? I have not yet pushed myself. I'm really afraid to.

BabsBunny
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 563
   Posted 4/17/2018 11:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Those are my biggest symptoms when herxing from Babesia. I often feel like I’m just being lazy. But in between herxes, I get stuff done, I’m upbeat and feel normal, push myself to the limit and find that my limits are indeed short.

Depression is a very real part of this, and it is debilitating. It makes it harder to justify your illness, continue treatment, and even believe yourself that it’s not in your head.

I think your grandmother- and many working mothers, students, and go-getters- have one huge advantage to their pain - it’s not Lyme. It’s not all a mind over matter thing. The matter, with Lyme, is far worse than the stresses they are able to push through. It’s why we call it an “invisible” illness. Sometimes even WE can’t see it!

I will try to make a to-do list and just check off one thing at a time, even if I’m sobbing through it with emotional or physical pain (mostly emotional). If I manage to pick up that one thing, or just wash a freaking dish, I’ll even add it to the list so I can cross it off and show myself I have indeed done SOMETHING today! Sometimes my list sits for two weeks and only has a few checks. It’s okay. Just keep swimming.
Lyme, Babesia, Bartonella. Symptoms began 5/2016, didn't start treatment until 9/2016. Slow but steady recovery.

*twitch twitch*

10LymeB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 685
   Posted 4/17/2018 2:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Babs <3
*43 yo - Treatment started Nov. 2016 - Bitten by mosquito in Paris 2013
* SIBO (improved with diet)
* Candida (improved with diet and Nystatin)
* Lyme - Babesia - Bartonella
* Hashimoto's (improved with NatureThroid)
* EBV
* HHV6
* Tinea Versicolor (improved with Sporanox)
* IBS (improved with diet and BPC 157)
* Infusio Jan. 2018 (http://www.kristensimental.com/lyme-hub/)

Notime4lyme
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2017
Total Posts : 382
   Posted 4/17/2018 8:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I know what you mean. I know several old people and it's amazing what they can do.

It's very hard for me to tell sometimes if I'm depressed or tired. A lot of times I think I'm just to depressed to do something, but I'm depressed AND I'm too tired to do it anyway. A lot of times I put off doing fun things because I'm just too tired to enjoy them.

1000Daisies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2473
   Posted 4/19/2018 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh my - I could relate to your post. I'm having a really tough week personally and spent two days on the coach/bed when kids were at school. I felt like my body just could and would not function. I couldn't push through it. It was so debilitating. Fortunately, I felt a bit better later in the day to semi-function. I feel a bit better today.
But in my mind, I am really negative toward myself because I know I should be doing things but feel like my body can't do them! And that, in itself, is beyond depressing.

I just can't stand days like that.

I battle chronic fatigue issues, which I feel are related to adrenal fatigue issues from several years of pretty severe, ongoing medical stress with the kids. It really has negatively impacted my body (it caught up to me). I'm retrying treating the adrenals again, but so far, I'm not seeing any help/progress. Not sure why I regressed so much this week compared to my "norm".

I feel your pain. This chronic fatigue can be extremely debilitating and depressing.
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, but doing great now!
Kid#2: Still sick now despite being treated for years but doing better (not well yet).
Kid#3: Generally good but relapsing off/on.
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids)-not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue and yeast issues (heart/kidney issues resolved)
Treating with herbals now.
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