Feelings of hatefulness

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 1996
   Posted 5/8/2018 11:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Does anyone else have feelings of hatefulness towards people?

I restrain it, but find myself muttering very un-Christlike things under my breath. The second I finish praying for forgiveness, I start doing it all over again.

Does this sort if thing happen to anyone else?

Is this part if Lyme/bart rage?

I'm still taking kudzu root, but this came on again last night and today.

I got so mad last night, I was nearly in tears. I try to pray my way through this stuff, but like I said, as soon as I finish praying (if I finish), those angry cursing thoughts and words come right back.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 1996
   Posted 5/8/2018 11:50 AM (GMT -6)   
BTW, all my posts have typos now. I switched to a dufferent phone, and either the keyboard is not as good or my aim is off. Sorry.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33837
   Posted 5/8/2018 12:17 PM (GMT -6)   
It could be the bart rage.

I don't have these feelings - my issue is sadness, crying. Not sure which is worse!!!
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2017
Total Posts : 383
   Posted 5/8/2018 12:17 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like intrusive thoughts. I haven't gotten what you describe, but it seems like everyone's intrusive thoughts take different forms.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2473
   Posted 5/8/2018 2:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes, WBF, it happened/happens with my kids. It's beyond terrible. It's so confusing to them, and it's hard for them to cope. When this intense anger passes, then they feel so guilty about their feelings because that's not who they really are. It's a terrible symptom!

PS We started taking kudzo, and it doesn't appear to be helping at all. I've stopped the herbals at this point and trying to figure out where one of my kid's symptoms stand. We are going to take a different path, I think, because our current path isn't working.

I'm very sorry you are suffering from this too! {{{HUGS}}}
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, but doing great now!
Kid#2: Still sick now despite being treated for years but doing better (not well yet).
Kid#3: Generally good but relapsing off/on.
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids)-not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue and yeast issues (heart/kidney issues resolved)
Treating with herbals now.

Post Edited (1000Daisies) : 5/8/2018 1:50:52 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2014
Total Posts : 1712
   Posted 5/8/2018 3:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Do you have a lot of anger and rage which then becomes hateful thoughts? Anger and rage are very common with Bart.
This comes from the symptom chart in New to Lyme under Bart :
severe rage
-anxiety- panic attacks
-easily upset
-severe mood swings
I dealt with that before treating Bart. Now like Girlie I cry at everything. I'm not sure if it's the Mepron, Bab's, how darn long we've been dealing with this, or that my barrier is paper thin. Thank goodness they no longer have those reach out and touch someone commercials. I'd be a crying heap on the floor.

Talk to your doc about doing a few rounds of Bart focused treatment.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2017
Total Posts : 518
   Posted 5/9/2018 2:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Not sure if this is the same thing, but I have a much weaker filter now. A lot of anger that I used to suppress comes out now. Sometimes I feel guilty and sometimes (depending on the person) it is cathartic and satisfying, lol.
"This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass."

Lyme, babesia, mycoplasma pneumonia. Diagnosed May 2017. Neuro symptoms began September 2017. Treating 11 months so far.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2018
Total Posts : 121
   Posted 5/9/2018 3:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I think anger, sadness, anxiety can all be a herx. I felt those feeling mostly when I was first starting to kill the bugs but now they are gone.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2018
Total Posts : 121
   Posted 5/9/2018 4:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Niacin is supposed to help with neuro symptoms. I took it today and yesterday and bedsides a short time of feeling bummed which I think was a herx I feel great! It kills bugs but also helps clear neuro toxins. I started very slowly and still haven't taken a full 500mg pill but it looks promising. It's even taking away the last of my twitches, which I think is from neuro toxins. Don't use the "no flush" or extended release kind just use regular niacin and work through flushes. Some people stop because of flushes or herx but I would just push through, this is the best I've felt in a long time. I hope it continues, and from what I've read It will

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 4440
   Posted 5/9/2018 7:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi WalkingByFaith,

First of all please don't be so hard on yourself.. you are battling this disease and what you are experiencing comes with it (at least it did in my case).

I still remember cursing out my family for not being there for me when I needed them. Then they wouldn't talk to me for months after I let them have it (looking back I don't blame them one bit).

When I was still married to my ex-husband I knew I couldn't curse him so instead I wrote him letters trying to explain what I was feeling. At least I was venting on paper and not with my unfiltered mouth.

My behavior scared me as this was so unlike me (prior to lyme I was so lady-like and old-fashioned) so I went searching for answers. In my case I was suffering from lyme rage and I was told that I had so much ammonia in my brain (this was after I called up the Hansa Center to order more Borrelogen and they suggested I take the Neuro-Antitox Formula). That helped me so much! It calmed me down and the curse words became less frequent.

I know everyone is different and their feelings stem from various situations. I was VERY angry at my family for not supporting me as well as my now ex-husband. BUT, it was the way I dealt with my anger which not only hurt others but myself as well.

Again, be kind to yourself as this is not your fault.

12 years well ~ used Dr. Jernigan's protocol from his book about Biological Medicine (used Borrelogen, Microbojen and Neuro-Antitox).

I still detox even though healed and drink Green Vibrance. I come back to help others for others helped me when I was sick. Pay it forward! smile


Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 5/9/2018 7:14 AM (GMT -6)   
I have had intrusive thoughts from time to time and when my bart symptoms were severe I found myself having a harder time stopping irritation escalating into a full blown ‘negative dialog’ if you know what I mean. I had to stop spending time with people and media that we’re bringing more negativity into my life than I could process easily.

Mostly for me it’s having days of unexplained crying. My kids know it’s just one of my crying days and move the tissue boxes closer. Not sure which I’d rather deal with but aside from the occasional glances at my red eyes in public I’d say the crying is easier to cope with than thoughts that aren’t who I see myself as.

Is it a fairly recent symptom?

Hopefully it will pass soon and you can look back on it with a sense that you can be more compassionate towards irritable people knowing that this isn’t their true nature and see their deeper goodness.
Bulls eye rash August 2013
Started treating with Buhner herbs July 2017
Treating Borellia, Babesia and Bartonella as of November 2017

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2013
Total Posts : 428
   Posted 5/9/2018 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, I've experienced. Becoming irritable much more easily with people was one of my first indications that I'd become re-infected after a bite back in March 2017. It has mostly resolved with treatment, but been replaced by other symptoms.
Probably sick for more than 20 years. Crashed in Aug. of 2013. Completing 12 months of treatment as of Aug. 2014, and feeling much better! Have taken a wide variety of antibiotics, antiparasitics and herbals for blood-diagnosed Babesia, Erlichia and Anaplasma, and suspected Bart and Lyme.

Bitten by two ticks in March of 2016, which seems to have set off a new infection.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 1903
   Posted 5/9/2018 10:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Emotional herxes is a real lyme thing.

Some people it's anger, some people it's overly sensitive, or both.

For me it's overly sensitive. Easily tear up. When it was really bad in the early days of lyme, crying for no reason. Now when I experience an emotional herx flare it's just easy tearing up.

Over sad things or good, heart warming things. I mean very easily. Like the level of sad or heart warming can be very little and I'm fighting back tears lol.

As a man, I've always seen the jokes portrayed in our society of the emotional, overly sensitive, pregnant woman. But now I get a glimpse of how that feels and it's not funny.
Lyme (Igenex) - Positive IFA and WB bands 23, 31, 41
Ehrlichia (Igenex)
Mycoplasma (Labcorp) - Score: 595

ABX Treatment: 03/2016-04/2016; 7/2017-9/2017
Buhner Protocol for Borrelia, Babesia, Bartonella and Mycoplasma (treating everything to be on the safe side): May 2016 - Dec. 2016; 8/2017 - Present

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 245
   Posted 5/9/2018 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm afraid I have a pretty terrible time with this, my irritability is off the charts. When I hear the neighbors dogs barking excessively I find myself whisper-screaming at the top of my lungs very unkind detailed things which I think they can sometimes hear because it seems like the one dog almost goes on attack rage mode reacting to my whisper-screams under my breath (anyway our neighborhood is not the best or safest, some neighbors have big mean dogs that keep thieves away...).

I also get so sidetracked and annoyed by commotion in our fairly small 3 BR ranch house with pretty thin walls...muttering very hateful things more often than I should under my breath, usually set off by my dysfunctional family, I don't tell them off like I used to, usually it was something to the effect of "leave me alone" only said in a very not-nice way lol.

It's sorta funny but more sad because I would really like to be more mellow like I used to be.

And about the amplified feelings, mood swings, technical term "emotional lability" in med-psych parlance, I get that, sadness, you name it.

Also not to be a bummer but I think my body mostly stopped making feel good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline at some point or the bugs short circuited it somewhere.

But on a good note, I try to maintain a good sense of humor but I know it's a long haul ahead.

Anyway, Onward and forward, in search of better diet, medical access.
Tick bite/EM rash +10 years ago
Active, athletic, with past concussions.
1st known bite: tick infested area, flu, chills, fever, neuro symptoms.
Treat with ABX/herbs recently (2-5 years now).
Get symptom free with strict diet: paleo/keto/IM fasting
Have done Buhner's Protocol, Doxycycline, Amoxicillin, Supplements.
IgG via IgeneX 31-IND, 41++, 58+ (Sep-2016)
IgM via IgeneX 31+, 41-IND (Sep-2016)

Village Crazy Lady
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 379
   Posted 5/10/2018 12:55 AM (GMT -6)   
It really is another example of the big jigsaw puzzle we all deal with.
Is it a herx, a symptom - symptom of which piece?, is it the hormones the bugs love to ruin.
You think you’ve got an idea, adjust for that and adjust and adjust.
It changes with each phase we pass through and the more we’re treating for at the same time, the more The Who-knows-what-worked factor applies.

I cry happy I cry sad I cry pissed, I cuss like a sailor and it makes ME feel better.

Hang in

~~~Your Life is an Occasion, Rise to It ~~~

Symptoms for years and years, Diag 6/2016, LLMD 10/2016
Treating with Abx and company

Forum Moderator

Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33837
   Posted 5/10/2018 1:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Village Crazy Lady said...

I cry happy I cry sad I cry pissed, I cuss like a sailor and it makes ME feel better.

Me too! well, except for the cussing - I don't do that. nono

I've noticed that my husband is more emotional too....this disease certainly takes a toll on us - including those living the nightmare with us.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi
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