Ouch ... mom guilt

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Dahlias
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2017
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 5/12/2018 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
My kindergartner brought home an "All about Mom" paper from school for Mothers Day. For the prompt "She likes to," he wrote "rest." sad

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 32521
   Posted 5/12/2018 11:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Dahlias said...
My kindergartner brought home an "All about Mom" paper from school for Mothers Day. For the prompt "She likes to," he wrote "rest." sad


Aww...Dahlias - I bet that's not what you wanted to see.

Just remember - you're resting now...so you can heal and get back to your 'real' self......it's necessary.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

Dahlias
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2017
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 5/13/2018 2:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Girlie. That helps.

sandyfeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 274
   Posted 5/13/2018 4:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Ouch Dahlias - sometimes it hits hard I know sad

This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever been really good about respecting and communicating my needs, especially with my kids. Before lyme I would overextend myself all the time. As much as I’d love to be the Mum I used to be I hope that they’re learning those same skills, which is a good thing, and I do see that in how they handle their own stresses.

Still it hurts when I get those little glimpses of how others see me because they rarely coincide with how I see myself. That’s one of the hardest things about an invisible illness, no one sees the Herculean efforts we go to every day.
Bulls eye rash August 2013
Started treating with Buhner herbs July 2017
Treating Borellia, Babesia and Bartonella as of November 2017

sandyfeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 274
   Posted 5/13/2018 4:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Recently while we were at the pool my eldest said cheerfully to me ‘it’s ok that you’re sick mummy, because we’re getting older and don’t need you so much.’ Which picked up perfectly on my fear that I’m missing out on those last years of having little kids.

Then my husband just said to me this morning ‘it seems you’re so sad all the time’ - which really cut me to the core as I personally feel that I am very positive most of the time.

I often think of the Robbie Burns quote ‘oh wad some gift the giftie gie us to see oursels as ithers see us’ I think we might be happier not knowing. ;-)
Bulls eye rash August 2013
Started treating with Buhner herbs July 2017
Treating Borellia, Babesia and Bartonella as of November 2017

1000Daisies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2421
   Posted 5/18/2018 11:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Awwww.... I feel your pain! sad

My sickest kid refused to go out to dinner with us on Mother's Day and said some few choice words to me that were less than pleasant (quite hurtful, to be honest). I cried on the way to the restaurant (hidden by my sunglasses) and just generally was very sad.

I really can't stand what this disease has done to my sweet, loving kid.
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, but doing great now!
Kid#2: Still sick now despite being treated for years but doing better (not well yet).
Kid#3: Generally good but relapsing off/on.
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids)-not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue and yeast issues (heart/kidney issues resolved)
Treating with herbals now.

1000Daisies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 2421
   Posted 5/18/2018 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
FWIW, I always thought to myself that this holiday (and then it was year) was tough but next holiday/year would be better. But year after year we struggled. And again, another year after year. I can't think about the time we lost of their childhood because I just wouldn't be able to cope with it. It hits me hard. So much time and memories lost.
Kid#1: Extremely sick for several years, very difficult to treat, but doing great now!
Kid#2: Still sick now despite being treated for years but doing better (not well yet).
Kid#3: Generally good but relapsing off/on.
Me: Adv Labs positive 2016 (suspected I passed to my kids)-not as sick as others, mostly battling fatigue and yeast issues (heart/kidney issues resolved)
Treating with herbals now.

Dahlias
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2017
Total Posts : 455
   Posted 5/18/2018 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Aw, Daisies, I'm so sorry. It WILL get better, and they will understand someday how hard you fight for them. It's not the memories that we wanted, but it's love.

Sandyfeet, thank you, good point that we can teach them important strategies that we're learning through this.
"This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass."

Lyme, babesia, mycoplasma pneumonia. Diagnosed May 2017. Neuro symptoms began September 2017. Treating 11 months so far.

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 32521
   Posted 5/18/2018 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel so bad for you mothers.

Daisies - you are hero - taking care of three children with Lyme.... they don’t ‘get it’ yet - but they will one day.

I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have your child battling this disease.
I’m a worrier by nature - I would be a wreck I’m sure.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

sandyfeet
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 274
   Posted 5/19/2018 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Dahlias said...
It's not the memories that we wanted, but it's love.


Beautiful, Dahlias. I hope that’s how our kids remember this.

1000Daisies, I’m so sorry you’ve all been through so much. I can’t imagine going through this with my kids sick as well.
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