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Redwhite&blue
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2018
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/13/2018 11:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey so I'm on my 3rd day of treating Lyme disease and today has been hell. I don't know what to make of what's going on with me, I don't think I'm dealing with a herx because it's mostly emotional.

So 1st day nothing really happened

2nd day I think I probably felt better.

Today I have had so much depression. I am also having suicidal thoughts and I feel like I am never going to get better. I don't know what this is it can't be a herx can it? I just don't understand!!!! I feel crazy

10LymeB
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 685
   Posted 6/13/2018 11:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Emotional purges are part of the herx, part of the detox. It's all "normal". You have to decide how much you can bear. If it gets to be too much, back off, self-care the heck out of yourself, rest. Make sure you're doing your detox routines. There should be a link here on the boards at the top.

We have all been there.

First off: Take a deep breath and calm down. This is only temporary. It will not last forever and you will get better.

I tell myself this when I start spiraling: Every day in every way I'm getting better and better.

I repeat it over and over. You gotta get tough. Don't let some dumb bacteria kill you. You can beat this. Many people have and you will too. You have a long road ahead and understand there will be bad days, but you can do it.

Stay strong and be good to yourself!!!

BTW, it's good to let all that emotional crap out. Just cry it out if you have to. Hit pillows. Scream. Boy, once I decided to ride the dark wave, I felt so much better. I cried and screamed and it helped.

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33965
   Posted 6/13/2018 11:47 PM (GMT -6)   
It could be a herx....lots of toxins in the brain can cause anxiety, depression...and more.


Can you kick up your detoxing for a few days?

If it continues at this level...then you need to back off...until you feel better.

Please reach out to someone if you're having suicidal thoughts...okay?

I need to post this:

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

I called mental health one day - before I was diagnosed because I was dealing with anxiety mixed in with depression...and I thought I was losing my mind.
The counsellor was so thoughtful and really put my mind at ease.

So, please don't hesitate if you need to talk to someone..okay?
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

Post Edited (Girlie) : 6/13/2018 10:50:11 PM (GMT-6)


Redwhite&blue
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2018
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/13/2018 11:56 PM (GMT -6)   
It began as soon as I woke up this morning. Is that how you all know you're having a bad day or good day? Like if I feel like I wake up and feel somewhat rested that usually means I'm gonna have a good day. But days like today when I have to drag myself out of bed then that usually means I'm gonna have a bad day?

If this is a herx then I'm fine with that. I am ready to herx and I'm ready to feel better I just thought a herx was more like flu like symptoms.

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33965
   Posted 6/14/2018 12:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Redwhite&blue said...
It began as soon as I woke up this morning. Is that how you all know you're having a bad day or good day? Like if I feel like I wake up and feel somewhat rested that usually means I'm gonna have a good day. But days like today when I have to drag myself out of bed then that usually means I'm gonna have a bad day?

If this is a herx then I'm fine with that. I am ready to herx and I'm ready to feel better I just thought a herx was more like flu like symptoms.


Sometimes when I wake up and feel like it's going to be a bad day...it usually is...but now and then, as the day goes on it does get better.

A herx can be an increase in any of your current symptoms (not just flu-like) or even new symptoms appearing.

BTW - I have never had flu-like symptoms with lyme and co's.
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

Redwhite&blue
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2018
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/14/2018 12:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I see. I didn't know that. It's just when I see people talking about herxing or read about it they say stuff like "if it's too bad go to the hospital" so it just has me confused a bit I guess. I was more tired today but I still managed to exercise and stuff but I have been on edge all day long. Full blown depression.

Girlie
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2014
Total Posts : 33965
   Posted 6/14/2018 12:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Here's an explanation of the herxheimer reaction


www.tiredoflyme.com/the-herxheimer-reaction.html
Moderator, Lyme Forum
Symp started April/2013; Buhner's Lyme May 15-July24/14; Igenex pos. July 3/14
Doxy: July 4-Aug.24/14;Zithro July26-Aug24/14; Amox + Proben. Aug. 29/14;
added biaxin Sept. 26/14
Disc. amox,added Ceftin Nov. 20th.;
Disc. biaxin added Buhner bart herbs Dec/14;Jan/15 pulsing Tinda (w/ Ceftin);
Abx/herb break Apr-July/15; July-mino; Aug. added Rif;
Nov./15 mino - to biaxi

Lovemy3
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2018
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 6/14/2018 10:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Redwhite&blue said...
I see. I didn't know that. It's just when I see people talking about herxing or read about it they say stuff like "if it's too bad go to the hospital" so it just has me confused a bit I guess. I was more tired today but I still managed to exercise and stuff but I have been on edge all day long. Full blown depression.


Hi RedWhite&blue I have the same symptoms. I think my lyme is mainly in my head bc my symptoms have mainly been psych. I have anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I dont label it as depression bc I dont feel sad about my life etc but the thoughts do not go away! sometimes I get clear days where I am ok then there are periods like now where literally from the moment I open my eyes in the morning I am fighting those thoughts. I know this is not me, I know I want to live but it's like a record that just keeps playing in my head. this past weekend I barely got out of bed, I was so emotional and my body was super fatigued. I guess it is depression but it's like being trapped in your head, I know who I am and that I love my life but I have these thoughts going through my head and that I wont get better. It's like a physical sensation, my head doesnt feel right. I get head pressure, weird feelings in my head. It's so hard to explain! I was a completely normal, healthy person and then my life just went over a cliff. I am hanging on everyday. I just keep telling myself that I need to survive this! It's so hard though and very scary when you dont feel like you can control yourself.
Just know that you are not alone.
I want to do a survey of other Lyme suffers who have suicidal thoughts. I dont think it's the typical I feel my life is worthless type of SI but like mine where you are fully aware that you want to live but have these thoughts that are constantly playing in the background.

If this would go away I would be fine. Mine also flare up when I herx (or at least I assume it's a herx) but the more I think about it, it seems like it happens in cycles on it's own.

Hang in there.
Symptoms Sept 2017. Positive Lyme IgM
Treatment Oct 2017-present

opugirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2012
Total Posts : 3894
   Posted 6/14/2018 11:05 AM (GMT -6)   
YES, a herx can definitely be mental. Before I knew I had lyme I was on antibiotics for a kidney or skin infection.

After about 24hrs on abx I went INSANE. CONVINCED I was going to die. I'm a fairly logical person and I told myself if I could go out for a two mile run I'm not going to die. So I did that. But then even logic wasn't working so I was still convinced I was going to die after my two mile run...I came home and ate berries and kale and drank a ton of water (like this was going to save me ????).

I couldn't fall asleep that night until 3 in the morning because again - I was convinced that if I fell asleep I would die and not wake up. Luckily for me, when I did wake up the next morning all of those mental issues were vanished and I just thought "What the What was that???" Later, when I looked at the medication (after my lyme diagnosis), having those thoughts were signs of an infection in your CNS...


I find this story humorous now-but it was definitely not so at the time. Hang in there, detox -it does get better! And if you have to talk with your physicians about backing off on medication if it gets to be too much, please do!


It took awhile before my depression from lyme went away, for awhile I had no joy, even after I was blessed and recovered. But I am so happy I hung in there. Life is good-just takes some time to get it back.

~beth
Forum Moderator

July 2007 - Deer tick bite w/ physician confirmed EM Rash - given 10 days of Doxy
October 2012 - My world gets rocked January 2013 - My world turns upside down
March 2013 - Igenex +, start treatment with LLMD, LLND, and herbalist
August 2013- Finished all abx, continuing with herbs and homeopathy, Feeling good!
July 2014- Off all treatment since Jan 2014, just taking vitamins

Redwhite&blue
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2018
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 6/14/2018 5:43 PM (GMT -6)   
All day I have just laid around and have had thoughts and thoughts. I keep telling myself this is just part of the process but It's not working. I can't get off the internet wondering if this is indeed a herx or what it could be.

I read something that says "you herx when you're having a bad day". I AM HAVING A BAD DAY!

I can't get off the couch. I'm not in physical pain, I'm not hurting.. I just feel tired, I haven't said a word to anybody and I'm drained.

If I could 100% convince myself I am just herxing, I'm killing these awful things then I could push through!! But it's the constant thoughts that are running through my head for no reason that are telling me this isn't a herx. This is how I'm gonna feel for the rest of my life.
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