Posted 8/28/2018 6:45 PM (GMT -7)
Hello my fellow lymies,
A lyme friend (in real life) let me know people were asking about me. Some have reached out via email as well.
Recap of the last few months:
1. MRI/MRA cleared no tumor
2. IGF blood test taken. Within normal range, not high.
3. With those results, medical science is telling me it can't be the condition I was worried about
4. With that cleared I am now addressing the real issue at hand. Dystonia and TMJ. What came first the chicken or the egg, I do not know.
5. In October I will graduate to a complete splint to address misaligned bite and thus the domino effect it is having on my head and jaw. After that I hope to graduate to an actual orthotic device. The former helps with TMJ and moderately with structural misalignment the latter greatly does.
With the worse possibilities medically cleared my fear, worry and anxiety has passed.
However I'm just now greatly recovering from mental issues that all this worry, anxiety and fear caused. I greatly struggled with self-consciousness and self-esteem.
Physical changes can be alarming if they are new and fast but it doesn't necessarily look bad. This is something I had to learn over time. I personally have the bias of knowing what things use to look like while pretty much everyone else I come in contact with don't, so they don't see anything "wrong".
Getting use to the physical changes was deeply a personal issue, well within my psyche.
It just takes time and getting use to. Literally getting use to it. Meaning my brain has to "normalize" visually seeing changes long enough for it to be the new "normal".
Once again all within my own psyche I admit. Sort of a form of anxiety induced "body dis morphia".
Even with unbiased voluntary positive feed back on appearance from people, it wasn't enough to make me feel better. Once again very much like body dismorphia. My "mental" was in "disorder". So I'm self-aware enough to know I was dealing with a "mental disorder" about it.
The changes don't necessarily look bad, but because it's new, different, came on relatively suddenly, AND you are fully aware it's because of lyme directly or indirectly, it does create sort of a mental disorder that resembles body dismorphia and it simply takes time of getting use to it.
So "time" over the last few months has now put me in a better place mentally.
Thank you for listening