Girlie, sending you virtual hugs!
Wouldn't it feel easier somehow if we always saw the connections between symptoms and triggers? It's so hard not to get stuck on wondering why all the time, as though if only we can figure it out, then it will not happen again! There are just so many factors involved.
This time of year, I feel like a lot of us crash in some way regardless of where we are with treatment. Maybe we push too hard, maybe there's something about
the moon or the leaves or the sunlight. Sometimes we are exposed to a virus that whacks us out neurologically for a week or so even if we don't develop classic symptoms. I wish we all had the answer, but after all that you do for others - on this forum and in your personal life - I especially wish that for you!
Your husband has the privilege of being healthy enough to run an errand today. Just as with any type of privilege, it's the responsibility of people who have it to help the people who don't. I believe in this strongly, and I believe that it applies to those of us living with chronic illnesses. Fight tooth and nail against internalized ableism. You are enough, sick or not. You are just as valuable to this world as anyone else is.
We're all crying vegetables sometimes. Go easy on yourself. This is temporary. And we all know you can do hard things.