I am so moved and comforted by all of your support, thank you, you all made a dent in someone else’s suffering. This loss is complicating my grief because of the Lyme (which makes me feel hopeless sometimes) and it’s so nice to feel seen and heard by folks who have lived/are living through both, so thank you for normalizing my experience and respecting the depth of our bond. I wanted to offer my sympathies for all of your losses as well. Thank you for allowing me the space to honor my boy.
Girlie-I remember you sharing your traumatic experience with your poor kitty and I can only imagine how losing him that way complicated your grief as well, I am terribly sorry. I really hope you have more time with your remaining kitty and that you enjoy every last precious moment with her. You are doing something right to get her to that age!
Riverlee-I do plan on getting a new cat. The hard part is I’ve had cats most of my life, but this was my soul kitty (I was obsessed with THIS particular kitty). He was this giant, handsome, wild and regal-looking grey tabby with the softest fur I’ve ever felt and the most laid back, happy disposition. He was so uncomplicated and one of those cats that even cat haters liked because he was almost dog/human-like. He would sleep on a pillow, let me brush his teeth,
opened doors, balanced things on his head, hung his head out of the car windows during road trips, talked up a storm and seemed to understand exactly what you were saying, and even went for walks on a leash. He loved to be loved and literally nothing bothered him, and was so nurturing and loving. He would have been perfect as one of those kitties that cheers up sick folks in the hospital. I just have never met a cat anything like him, so while I will adopt again, I think I should wait or else the next poor kitty will never measure up
Natasha-Thank you so much for offering, I would love to talk but also am not sure how to swap numbers. Can anyone assist with that?
Dude- I remember you fondly. I went to email you but am not seeing the option to do so and would love to chat about
our cats over the phone. It takes a secure man to proudly claim cat man status, by the way. You are such a comfort to others and always seem to know precisely what to say and have such an eloquent way of writing. You’re a smart
cookie too and offer great advice. The links you sent really hit the spot. I have bookmarked them and am going to read them every single day (or every hour if need be), thank you! Writing has been therapeutic for me as well and I started a diary where I write to my boy every day.
Thank you for checking in on me again and offering encouragement. You are correct, the first 2 days (it feels like 2 months) were just so overwhelming, the initial shock of losing my 24/7 shadow (he was almost always right next to me) was a lot to bear and adjust to. I’ve worked through grief before but never this intense, so its easy to forget and doubt your ability to cope/heal so I appreciate the reminder that pain lessens with time and even though you never get over it, you learn to live with it. What a beautiful sentiment, “Grief can only last a lifetime. Love lasts forever.”
Zimica-I agree, it is helpful to try and focus on what was gained rather than lost. I think I had to grieve what I lost first but today I have been able to feel such a sense of gratitude for this experience. It was a privilege to watch a beautiful little creature go through all life spans and to hold him in my arms during his final breaths. There was always this sense that he was my teacher. He was known as being the comeback cat because he faced many, many, many health issues but would always rally against all logic or medical expectations. He outlived expectations by at least 10 years and would just keep going and going with a happy disposition and just lived in the moment. He prepared me for my Lyme journey and taught me to never give up, be a better advocate for my own health, and the importance of support. I have been told by several people that he has given hope to other cat owners that they can also thrive despite health issues and what a wonderful thing that he left his mark.
Unsightly- He really does live in my heart. He had this ability to bring instant joy, even just the thought of him, and that is the legacy he leaves me with.
Saraeli-Thank you for validating and normalizing the isolation with this disease and how this complicates my grief. He was the only thing that made bed ridden days bearable and could always be relied on for company. I also appreciate the reminder that I should feel proud of how well I took care of him and that I saw him to through to the end.
Auzzie-Thank you for the condolences, I am also very sorry for your losses. Pets are so integrated into our lives, daily routines, and closely bonded that their absences are sometimes more deeply felt than when we lose the humans in our lives. What helped you through that time?