This has to be an identifiable symptom with a direct cause. I have a symptom that I don't know how to describe. I have apt with my LLNd coming up and would like to describe this in a better way. Mostly I have to get rid of this symptom.
( Sorry if my posts are redundant. I'm not giving up. Please don't give up on me. )
I used to call it morning anxiety / depression.
This is what I used to call it over the last year however it has changed from what seemed like anxiety to severe depression and now to all consuming agony, but only in the mornings...
I wake up laying in bed waiting for this to pass. Wanting to sleep/ be better or die.
I lay there going in and out of sleep with this horrid feeling. My thoughts aren't controlling this ... it's a physical thing. I feel very ill. My chest and upper body are feeling sick, sometimes I have a small chest pain. ( I last thought it was heartburn due to holy basil gel caps but I dont know) .
The physical can sometimes out weigh the mental and I just want this overwhelming sick feeling to end. I feel warmth and just poisoned. Stressed but can't breath it away. It's inescapable. I just have to wait it out.
There is also the mental aspect which used to leave me crying and now leaves me thinking the darkest thoughts of how to get rid of this feeling and this tortured life etc... in the last couple weeks it takes hours for this to pass. Now I cry more am despondent, crazy, profusely apologizing to my little kids...it's intensified.
What I do know and feel is that it's such a stirring and disruptive torturous situation that there must be something very specific going on.
This is EVERY morning like clockwork. waking 5 am to noon. Although some days the sick feeling lingers until 3 or so. (Sick like I don't want to talk or see anyone. My eyes are dead, holding head, fatigue, slumping .
Then later in the day I'm a different person usually, happy productive and normal self... it's like night and day.
How can I be totally different person in the morning and the afternoons / evenings... ? How can this happen every morning and this not be an identifiable or common phenomenon?
Wouldn't coinfection, mold etc be more constant throughout the whole day or more all over the place and less clockwork...
isn't this something a doctor or a person might have expierienced before?
What is it that could do this?
What is happening here?
Isn't the timing and presentation indicative of something?
Post Edited (Lightlife) : 5/21/2020 8:36:45 AM (GMT-6)