I've been in treatment for bartonella and bebesia for over a year now, and I find myself in a phase of feeling bad again. I'm really struggling in terms of mental health. I feel hopeless, helpless, and detached. I'm also struggling with an identity crisis of sorts because I feel I've become someone I don't like--I feel like the old me was really the better me. I'm also struggling with a lot of self-judgment because I am not very knowledgable around my illnesses--I don't research, I don't detox, I can't even bring myself to take supplements. I feel like a big wimp and a failure because I feel I'm being so dramatic about my situation, yet I objectively have it pretty good (not very sensitive, minor herxes) compared to others. I feel bad for even posting this, like I'm not worthy and this is just attention-seeking (and it kind of is, really).
Anyone else out there struggle with this too? I guess I'm just looking for moral support and encouragement to know that I'm not an awful person, I'm not weak, etc. I just feel like I let this disease run my life when I could/should be doing so much more to help myself...
Is there such thing as a support group that meets via phone call or Zoom for this? Something similar to the AA style of support--I used to attend those meetings and they really helped.
I hope I can start using this forum regularly for more research and guidance.
Thanks in advance. xx
Hi Mitch! Welcome to the forum.
You are NOT a failure!
This forum has members who have or had symptoms that are few and mild and members who have many many symptoms and severe.
(I have known people who spend most of their days in bed)
I also know members who have more minor symptoms and have continued on with work and their social lives.
Some people do all the “right” things - healthy diet, supplements, plenty of sleep , limit stress,detox etc.
Others eat junk food, don’t detox... etc.
Most of us are somewhere in between.
We’re not here to judge - we’re here to help... to encourage, and hopefully to pick you up when you’re down.