Exhausted and Feeling so helpless

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Erica J
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/26/2008 12:37 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 After trying for so long to get answers and getting nothing, I have found myself here in your forums
 
 
I am 30 years old.I am a divorced Single parent of 3 children under the age of 12.
I will try to make this as short as possible...
 
diagnosed with scoliosis 1993/c-section 1996 /miss carriage 1997/ c-section 1999(BAD EPIDURAL) /misscarriage1999/ c-section 2000 / hernia repair left side 2003 / right leg vein removal groin to ankle 2005 / diagosed spina bifida occulate 2006/Hernia repair 2006
 
As a child I would have headaches-Just thought it was a normal thing to get one here and there.My parents never medicated me for them would always say take a nap or rest it off..I just assumed it was normal.through out my growing up and early 20's i seemed to still have headaches but seemed to come every couple weeks and last a day or 2.last year while at work i reinjured myself having to have a second hernia surgery.Opposite side of the first a few years prior.When i woke from the surgery I begged for mercy to everyone around me.The pain was so unexplainable and just overwhelming.The dr's gave me more iv meds.I complained about the headache and how my right side felt so weak and my leg and hip HURT.It was so bad.It was the exact same pain i felt  during a bad epidural experience..They didnt seem to concerned with any of it just to get the pain away.Eventually I was able to tolerate the pain and i was released that day to recover at home from the surgery. Since that surgery I have not been able to even go back to my job.I have so much pain in my right leg and hip and I get massive headaches at least 3 a month sometimes more..Some worse then others..about 3 months back My children and I were watching a movie and I felt This bubble feeling in the right temple..It was proceded with a warm numbing sensation surronding my right eye and temple,before I knew it I was having the worst screeching pain running through my right side of my brain.At one point i sware to god i could hear it inside my head screeching.I went and layed in my bed and I dont remember anything till 3 days later.
My oldest daughter who is 11 cared for them and me through out the days i was ill.She explained to me and the dr that I was talking to her and the other kids but most the time i was laying there with my eyes closed talking to myself.My daughter gave me vicodin she said as i asked for it.She knows medicine well from me explaing to her about it.she was familiar.Sititng in the dr office with her was scary,I felt like she was the mom.She started giggling to the dr and said That i was even talking to my Grandfather (who passed away 4 years ago) she made a comment that will haunt me for a long time.My dauhter said I  was laughing and talking about how he would clip his nails in church when i was a kid and how it would drive grandma nuts..She said this and just giggled.  I have not had that memory In 15 years and for her to say  that to me was as if my memory was actually invaded in someway.How could i say that outloud to someone when i didnt even remember it.What else am i lacking in memorey? and why am i having these headaches?
Dr's ran test after test finding nothing! The dr has so far labled it fibromyalgia because f my muscle aches all over my body.I do have ciatica nerve damage but they dont know why.I repeat my story over and over to the dr's about the epidural experience and they just blow that off as nothing.But since I had that bad epidural is when all this started.The right side pain and the right side migraines.
My migraines can come w/ a fever and severe vomiting.The right temple will feel as if it is going to pop right open,My right eye will burn and be so heavy i cant keep it open.any sound,light,SMELL,movement only intensifies it.I have tried so many medicines and it seems all the dr's are trying to do is numb the pain.The last medicine i was on was topamax.It did absolutley nothing for me.I have had mri's and ekg's and emg's Blood tests heart utrasounds..And all they can tell me is we will figure this out..Its been 8 years and many dr's later..What can i do to help myself?? I have to start supporting myself and my children before i lose my apt and everything else.My X husband pays a good amount in child support.I live on that alone-no welfare-If i chose welfare they would take my child support away which is more then welfare.But even so at the end of the week we are hungry and unhappy.My children have become little adults and it scares me to think i will never get help and find a answer! I cant live this way forever,I want my kids to enjoy there lives to the fullest and not be worrid about me.
If anyone has any advise please please respond.I am exhausted and am at a stand still in what to do next
 
 

candy808
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/26/2008 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I am not sure where to led you, but I can ask someone else and see what they say. I know how it feels to be in your place. I have been there b4. Stay strong

Erica J
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/26/2008 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello.Thank you for your response.I have been watching this forum since i posted here..I am so desperate right now and seem to be getting absolutley nowhere
Power is schedualed to be shut off tomorrow..the salvation army is out of funds, as well as our eight cap program,Human servces wont help intil i make half the payment.(im in michigan)..I have maybe 30$ to my name till next friday.I am so so lost right now. I am worried about not having a phone mostly in case of emergency..I cant get nomore extensions or paymet plans.
I am just so exhausted trying to come up with ways to make ends meet.You would think somewhere there would be a program for people stuck in between disabilty decesions besides welfare.I honestly dont know what i will do if i get denied again.I ant imagine going to work 8 hours a day in my condition.I will be worse off health wise but my lights will be on.I am not sure which one is better. I dont mean to come on here and cry and whine to anyone who reads this..Im just hoping and praying that there is someone else out there who has been in my boat and can lead me in some sort of right direction..
 
Erica J

candy808
New Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/26/2008 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I totally understand. I have been denied 3 times and I'm in the hearing process as we speak. It has taken a great toll on my mind, body and most of faith. They don't make anything easy for "US". I have been told some of the craziest things, I don't know if you know that you can acutally file what is a a "dire Need" request with SSDI and submit all your proof showing that you need to have your case brought up todate and heard Immedicately due to financial, medical neccessity. I would also encourage you to contact your local senators who will go the extra mile for you ( since they are up for re election, and get someone there to get your case heard) That can do wonders for your case as well. I have been out of work since December 2005, I know what it is like to feel the way you do. I cry constantly un beknown to other's just because I know that I deserve better. I know some people that have been approved for SSDI and they don't even have severe issues, This one person got it cause she couldn't stop sneezing, another one got it for his toe? And I have major medical issues and have been denied 3 times. I pray and I know God hears my prayers but sometimes I don't understand. I don't think you are crying and carrying on, I think that you just need someone to help direct you and If I am able to get you some of that assistance, then I will try to best of my ability. Just hang on, You'll make it. I'll say a prayer for you. Hugs :-)
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