I'm also 53 and can totally relate, especially when you say "I'm tired of being tough." I have chronic allergy-induced sinus headaches very similar to migraines. The pressure gets really bad in dusty, stuffy, air-conditioned or perfumed environments -- car, carpeted offices, etc. Sleeping always triggers the headaches these days although I've switched to an expensive latex mattress, high quality sheets that I wash regularly in hot water etc. I also use only unscented products -- shampoo, soap, cream, detergent, dishsoap, dishwasher powder, cleaning products etc.
A couple of years ago I finally got tired of waking up with horrible headaches every morning and started taking 25 mg Imitrex (Sumatriptan) every morning at 4 or 5 a.m., whenever the pain woke me up. Then I thought why let it start in the first place? So nowadays I take it an hour or two before bedtime. The good news is that it still lasts for 11 hours and still works for me pretty reliably. The bad news is that Imitrex (in tablet form) takes an hour to kick in, never works during or right after a meal, makes you drowsy, brings on a hot flash, and makes the digestive tract sensitive. I try to avoid taking a second one during the day, but sometimes that's unavoidable. If I'm too nauseous to take the tablet (actually morsel off a 100 mg -- cheaper that way), I use the 20 mg nasal spray.
I think you're really onto something with food. Blueberries do wonders for me. I also keep carrot juice in the fridge. I try to tell myself that if chocolate, alcohol and coffee mess me up by dehydrating me, there must be the opposite effect if I have lots of fresh fruit, veggies, vegetable juices or diluted fruit juices. Here is a daily breakfast that makes me feel better by reducing the swelling and cooling -- I soak organic rolled oats in apple juice in the fridge overnight (1/4 cup each), then in the morning add plain greek yogurt, frozen/defrosted raspberries, half a grated apple with the peel on, and whatever other fruits are in season. You can add crunch on top, such as chopped walnuts. This very moist and delicious mix is known as Bircher Muesli. It carries me through the morning. It is cold, but I have it with a cup of tea, so it's not too rough on the stomach. I discovered it a couple of years ago, quite by chance, and find it delicious. Whenever there's a lull in dinner preparations I quickly get my oats ready for the morning. You can also double it. It lasts for 1-2 in the fridge.
I also see improvement when I either swim in a sal***er pool (no chlorine) or do stretching exercises for 20 minutes a day. To get started with the exercises, let a physical therapist guide you. My doctor sent me to one, and I loved everything about those six sessions: the neck and shoulder exercises, the massages, the stretches that make me yawn -- I still use those when I have a hard time falling asleep.
I hope you keep searching and manage to keep up your sense of humor. I wish you all the best.