Posted 9/12/2011 3:10 PM (GMT -8)
I have suffered from headaches for about 8 years now, and no one seems to be taking it seriously. I am not looking for an official diagnosis, but I'd like to know if there is really something wrong with me, or if it's all in my head (no pun intended). I don't know if this is connected, but about 8 years ago, I had an incident where I was ice skating and fell backwards, hitting the back of my head on the ice. It was not treated beyond the ice pack that the skating rink staff kept on my head for a few minutes. I had blanked out and could not remember things like my address, phone number, etc.
Over the years, my headaches have made it increasingly difficult to concentrate. It used to be most difficult to study and concentrate on class lectures in school, as well as understand the concepts taught that seemed simpler for my peers, so I thought at first that maybe I was just becoming generally stupid. However, over time, it has now become difficult to pay attention to conversations with friends and family, and I have to pretend I'm paying attention to and remembering what they're saying. I feel like my speech does not come out as clearly, and in terms of my vision, sometimes everything seems to become much brighter, but foggier.
My head always hurts; there is no moment when it doesn't. However, sometimes it is dull enough that I can just live with it, sometimes it is painful enough to keep me from concentrating even more so than usual and I am more tired, and sometimes it is so bad that I can't bring myself to do anything; at this point, even doing something like watching TV, I'm not really paying full attention. As for the kind of pain itself, it varies as well. Usually it's an overall ache, but it can progress to greater pressure, then throbbing, and moments when I feel a sharper pain that lasts a couple of seconds. It is mostly on my right side, but spreads to the whole head sometimes, and I have neck and upper back pain. There are two bumps I can feel on my skull, one on the top right just below my hairline, and the other on the back of my head toward the left, if that means anything.
Lately, it's been more difficult than ever before. I no longer talk to most of my friends because I simply don't feel up to it. Social situations in general make me anxious, and I don't like talking to people on the phone because I know it will be difficult to keep up with the conversation. I still can't concentrate on class lectures, and I'm in college. I have thoughts like maybe it's not worth living if I have to live like this anymore, but I've never been able to wholeheartedly act on it. My parents think I'm exaggerating or overreacting, and it took 5 years for them to agree to do something about it. We told my doctor, who happens to be our family friend, and she finally arranged for a CT scan, and then she told us that it indicated that I had a sinus infection. She put me on antibiotics for two weeks, and that was it. The headaches are still here, but I don't tell my parents about them often anymore because I know they won't help. Since I live under their roof and their rules, I can't do anything without their permission, so I can't see a different doctor.
I don't feel like I'm living anymore, more like I'm just existing. Is it just me? And if not, what can I do?