On the Cusp of giving up.

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 6/27/2013 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello , my name is _Inf, and I am 29 years old. I have had migraines since I was ten years old.(undiagnosed until I was 19) and I also suffer from bi-polar disorder.  I feel as though I have tried everything to rid myself of these nightmarish head pounding frustrations,and now with the loss of my job, on top of this sickness that compels me every day to scream at the birds chirping outside my window, I am ready to throw in the towel.
I have tried a list of drugs:
  Prophylactic:  Propanolol, Metoprolol, Topimax, Valproic, Amitryptiline. 
  Abortive: (every tryptan available in Canada) I use Relpax to dull my migraine attack, but there is no abortion.
And name the painkiller,  I like that game, hate the rebound.
I've even tried botox, 31 injections in my forhead and scalp.  (O is that fun, still waiting to feel my forhead muscles again)
I've tried the pin pokers,  the bone crackers, the muscle kinkers.
I've even tried buddhism.
But nothing has worked!  Nothing!  And the frustration is so thick and palpable I just can't stand another minute of it.   Every day is the same, if I do not wake up with rebound, I wake up with that ever growing aura, the light is just too bright, sounds annoy me, simple sounds like the clock tick-tick-ticking on the wall will drive me into a rage, because everything has to be silent and still , or else the ever flow of my guts will commense, and then it's hugging the porcelain God for the rest of the day. 
Tell me what kind of life is that?

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/5/2013 5:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry for your pain. I too have had migraines since I was 10. Even though I suffer intensely and have tried every darn med in the book and every procedure and alternative stuff and nothing works, I still have hope. There have been times when I've had level 10 pain for more than 10 days straight. But I still have hope. I want to live, and I remind myself that in my life, these migraines fluctuate, and some months/years/decades are better than others. Right now I'm just praying for early menopause. You are not alone.

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/6/2013 1:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Read your post. Wanted to at least try to offer something to help. I don't have any suggestions as to the medications you should try. However, I do have some suggestions.

Based on just what you said and no other information. I would suggest looking at this from a slightly different angle. Consider your environment. Are there things in your environment that could be causing some of the problems. For me, certain odors will trigger a migraine. Sounds of a certain tone or duration will also trigger one.

Have you had your home tested for mold and/or carbon monoxide?

Not saying that ALL of your problems are from your environment, but it could be prohibiting you from getting relief from constant pain.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 7/6/2013 10:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I too have had a constant headache for over 13 yrs and it certainly fun. I too am in Canada, Ontario actually. Where are you? I wanted to let you know there is a procedure called an occipital nerve stimulator which has good results for those with migraines/headaches. you can google it to get more info on it. I am having the surgery done next Thurs. in Quebec City. Also I am a member of two excellent facebook groups, one of which is for those who have had the stimulator surgery or are in the process of getting one. Fantastic support and first hand info on the stim. This group is call Occipital and peripheral nerve stimulation. The other group is called The Many Faces of Migraines and it is also an excellent support group. Let me know if you need to find these two groups and feel free to ask me any questions if I can be of help. you can also email me.
Take care

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/7/2013 2:19 AM (GMT -6)   
 Rael,  I just wanted to thank you for your post.  Sometimes you feel so utterly alone in this.  Your friends are gone on , because they're sick of waiting,  and your spouse finds other ways to spend his time to fill the void that you create,  and what are you left with ?    But you are right, and though I am a  negative person (always)  I have not forgotten about hope.  How could I?  It drives all of use that go through this, like a shining patch of blue sky admit a storm.
Sadly i wasn't always like this, I haven't suffered for years at a time.  I had life filled with friends and dreams. and an ocasional migraine along the way , was nothing.
Now it's different, in this grown up life when I should be the responsible adult , where my dreams  still live just to haunt me , I was supposed to change the world. 

This is an _Inf coming to the terms that she may never work again,never contribute again.

ZYMI -   I just wanted to thank you so much for responding in a logical fashion, there wasn't aw poor baby in there, I liked that.   People trying to think of anything at all to help me, I will worship always (yes in a creepy way so beware muahah)  Err--  Anyway,  I have taken environment into consideration.  My spouse and I moved from a very mouldy basement suite to a newly build condo with no obvious mould issues.  I am the same , sounds, and smells trigger me.   We live without airfreshners,  and clocks that tick. heh, the smells of certain foods like Hotdogs will make me yack every time ....   
TJMPAIN-  Thank you so much for your reply!  I couldn't imagine suffering for 13 years straight with a horrible headache, and infact if it came to that I 'd honestly not stick it out.  I read up briefly on this  surgery and will be bringing it up with my neuorologist to see if it might help me at all.  I unfortunately do not have facebook. (stalker inncident. )   But  I want you to keep in touch with me after your surgery, to see how you came out.   I am on skype  , and you can also just email me with  updates   at maiden_ii@hotmail.com
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