Thank you to our Spouses

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Nicky (coquitlam55)
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Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 9/13/2005 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Everyone,
Today is my Wedding Anniversary and I'm taking a moment to pause and thank my husband. It's been a really rough two years and I wasn't sure we would make it. Now I know we will.
My headaches hit an all time high, I went on anti-depressants, was diagnosed as clinically depressed (after the fact) and went off work on a disability claim for six months. My husband didn't believe in depression at the beginning and thought I just had a "headache" most of the time.
With counselling, a good doctor, a good neurologist and commitment on both of our parts we've made it and come out better for it. We communicate with each other, we appreciate the little things each other does and we are more accepting.
Thank you to my husband and to all of the spouses out there who don't complain when we spend all day in bed with a terrible headache, or are really grumpy when we have yet another headache, or don't feel like being intimate because we have a headache again. Thank you for all of the trips to the drugstore in the middle of the night, for making cold compresses when we feel like we're dying and just being there when there's nothing else that can be done but wait for the pain to go away. Thank you for loving us even with this pain and accepting us just as we are.
I wrote to someone yesterday about guilt. One of the most important things I have learned is not to feel guilty. I do my best to control my pain and it's okay to accept the love and support from my husband. I hope others can learn this too.
I hope everyone has a good day today!
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.   Buddha

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 617
   Posted 9/14/2005 7:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Nicky, et. al....
When you were at your highest frequency of migraines, how often did you have them, and what was your magic combo of meds for getting control of them?  I am currently in the disability process, having previous problems with depression, anxiety and panic disorder, and about four different problems with my back, in addition to several migraines a week. 
I ended a really bad marriage about three years ago, and at this point, my parents are now financially supporting me. I am getting pretty good medical care through a clinic that is run like a regular doctors office, but you pay based on income.   My visits are only $5, my ER trips, and those to specialist doctors or for tests are written off, and almost all my medications I get free from the drug companies. 
I live by myself in a townhouse, about a mile from my parents.  Living with them is NOT an option.  skull I can't be around my mother that long.  My biggest problem right now is that my migraine abortive medication (Stadol NS) is a narcotic, which I can't get for free from the drug company.  I start to get migraines several times a week, so I can easily go through a bottle of the nasal spray in less than two weeks.  It runs around $45, but here's the thing.  My mother doesn't believe I could possibly be getting that many headaches.  I know she thinks I'm taking some just for fun.  nono Every time I talk to her about a headache, she doesn't ask anything about me, just how may squirts of Stadol have I taken.  Then she wants to know how many I've taken out of the bottle.  Well, in that condition, I'd be lucky to remember my address and phone number.  Now she even has my father asking, just in case she asked him.  It's crazy.  I also sometimes take Lortab as a backup if the Stadol doesn't work.  It must slow down my speech or something because then she asks how much of that I've had.  The thing is, she asks that even when I haven't had anything, so I can't win for losing.  Anyway, I end up at the ER at least once every week or two because the headache is so bad.  Mom always says she wonders what would happen if I stuck one out without getting a shot?  So inveribly, I always try to stick it out, so I suffer for hours and hours(sometimes more than a day) before giving in and getting my dad to take me for a shot.
I just don't know what to do.  I've been on Topamax for a while 100am/100pm, and this is my really bad season for migraines (Weather is my big trigger).  I want to stay on it a while longer and give it a chance, and I just got some of those Migraine supplements from Walmart that somebody was raving about last week.  I just hope the number of headaches goes down.
OK - Here is the big question.  At your worst, how many migraines did you have per week or per month? confused
Thanks for the input!
Leigh Ann cool

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 921
   Posted 9/15/2005 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   

Off Topic a bit...

Leigh Ann...

I was interested to read that you said this was your "really bad season" for migraines, I have found that the month of September is the worst time of year for me.  I think the weather changes and all is what effects me the most and of course this year the hurricanes didn't help any.

I just thought that was interesting because it took me a few years to figure that out by looking at sick leave and time off from different activities...
Sara-Migraine/Headache Forum Moderator
Thanks for Visiting

Nicky (coquitlam55)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 9/16/2005 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Leigh Ann and Sara,

September is also my bad month, when the weather changes. It is so frustrating because I can't control it, no matter how much I am controlling all of my other factors.

Back to your questions Leigh Ann. At my worst I had a "Bad Migraine" 5 out of 7 days and a headache everyday. I got myself caught up in a bad cycle of rebound headaches and psychological stress.

If it helps any, I have a mother very similar to yours. I get calls filled with inuendo like "aren't your headaches gone yet?" I don't think my husband realized either how many and how bad they were either until I couldn't go on anymore and when I first went off sick I stayed in bed a lot.

Psychological counselling was where I started, with a lady that specializes in chronic pain. She has taught me about deep relaxation and I have a recorded relaxation that I use that helps me reduce the pain.

The next step was working with the neurologist to identify triggers and reduce painkillers. I have weaned off painkillers many a time. Sara talks about staying away from OTC medications and triptans and she's absolutely right. They're a nightmare. I am using Topamax and it's not working as well as my neurologist feels it should and he feels its because of the rebound headaches. I've gone from taking 20 - 30 painkillers a day to 2 Tylenol 3s and by the end of September I should be off them completely. I already see a huge reduction in my headaches.

Counselling also helped me see how much I was beating myself up for the headaches. I felt guilty when I had a headache, when I called in sick, when I took pain medication, when someone didn't believe me that I had a headache and I've learned it's not my fault. I have a sickness and it's okay to take care of myself.

I keep my mom at arm's length. I only see her when I'm strong enough to set boundaries, if not I don't need the hassle or the headache. I strive for stability and I don't let people or things knock it off. I exercise as much as possible. I set boundaries with my family, including my husband. I'm eating healthy, avoiding triggers and slowly reducing all of the medications causing rebound headaches.

I'm not there yet but I feel more optimistic than I have in a long time. I'm also taking some natural supplements that are helping, a multivitamin with extra B vitamins, melatonin to help me sleep and valerian root to calm me when I'm feeling really stressed. (I checked with my doctor on all these and he says they're okay).

I hope this helps a bit.


The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.   Buddha

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