New Member ... Scared and hopeless

At any rate ... high doses of ibuprofen don't work, vicodin and percocet don't work, the new one, MAXALT 10 mg, doesn't work.  Well yes it did for about 3 hours.  I'm on beta blockers ... and they seem to TRIGGER a migraine rather than help it. 

Even if the Maxalt worked ... I couldn't afford it ... not for EVERY day.  Topamax sounds scarey ... and with my history it probably wouldn't work either.

If I have to live with this blinding, excruciating pain much longer I'm going to want to kill myself. 

Is it going to be this way for the rest of my LIFE????  I just want to die!  I'd love to have a good cry but it makes my head hurt even more.  My husband is about to lose his job because he has taken so much time off work to shuttle me to the dr.  At 61 finding a new job would be basically impossible in his field and he is too young for social security for a good number of years.  Medical bills are soaring and I can't afford all my meds now ... let alone if I have to add more.  And I'm supposed to remain stressless???

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  Is there ANY hope?  Please .... I'm really desperate!

Thanks for responding Annuk ... I really, REALLY appreciate it.  Depression is a sticky wicket for me.  I certainly know about the effect you speak of ... depressed when you are ill or in pain .... and when that goes so to does the depression.  I love the old saying, "Its always darkest before the dawn" ... but sometimes when its dark you don't think the dawn will ever come.

At this point I would be more than willing to live with the migraines and not complain if they would settle down to a couple a week.  But now, just when I think it might be ending as it is dulling ... I turn over or move my head or just wait a minute or two and there it is full force again.  After 2 months I'm worn out ... physically and emotionally and have a doctor that really doesn't care. 

I'm so sorry you have suffered with these hideous abominable headaches for so long.  I can't imagine that.  To keep your positive attitude through it all is amazing and inspiring.  Thank you.