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New Member ... Scared and hopeless

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Migraine Headache
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Posted 2/3/2006 3:03 PM (GMT -6)
My story is very involved ... but in a nutshell ... I've had one continuous, never ending and only rarely subsiding somewhat, migraine since the first week in Dec.  My very FIRST migraine and the first headache of any kind in years.  I THINK it was triggered by a change in cardiac medicine and my diabetes going out of control badly.  Changing the meds hasn't helped nor has getting my diabetes in control.

At any rate ... high doses of ibuprofen don't work, vicodin and percocet don't work, the new one, MAXALT 10 mg, doesn't work.  Well yes it did for about 3 hours.  I'm on beta blockers ... and they seem to TRIGGER a migraine rather than help it. 

Even if the Maxalt worked ... I couldn't afford it ... not for EVERY day.  Topamax sounds scarey ... and with my history it probably wouldn't work either.

If I have to live with this blinding, excruciating pain much longer I'm going to want to kill myself. 

Is it going to be this way for the rest of my LIFE????  I just want to die!  I'd love to have a good cry but it makes my head hurt even more.  My husband is about to lose his job because he has taken so much time off work to shuttle me to the dr.  At 61 finding a new job would be basically impossible in his field and he is too young for social security for a good number of years.  Medical bills are soaring and I can't afford all my meds now ... let alone if I have to add more.  And I'm supposed to remain stressless???

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?  Is there ANY hope?  Please .... I'm really desperate!

Posted 2/4/2006 3:53 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Mama Mouse, Welcome to Healing Well, I am so sorry that you are suffering so much I really feel for you. I am 52 and started having migraine at 17, and although I have had this so long there have been times when I have found relief for sustained periods, and yes it is tough at the moment but I refuse to give up that one day the researchers are going to find a drug/therapy that will really help - when I am in an attack I am not so optimistic as I find that depression can so often be a part of an attack and lifts with the migraine!

I have found many folk here on Healing Well that have given me encouragement, and just knowing that the folk here understand what I am going through gives me a real lift. Hang in there, sometimes just letting the tears roll can relieve some of the stress involved, hey thats ok you may feel better inspite of the pain! I will pray for you, take care Ann.
Posted 2/4/2006 6:36 AM (GMT -6)

Thanks for responding Annuk ... I really, REALLY appreciate it.  Depression is a sticky wicket for me.  I certainly know about the effect you speak of ... depressed when you are ill or in pain .... and when that goes so to does the depression.  I love the old saying, "Its always darkest before the dawn" ... but sometimes when its dark you don't think the dawn will ever come.

At this point I would be more than willing to live with the migraines and not complain if they would settle down to a couple a week.  But now, just when I think it might be ending as it is dulling ... I turn over or move my head or just wait a minute or two and there it is full force again.  After 2 months I'm worn out ... physically and emotionally and have a doctor that really doesn't care. 

I'm so sorry you have suffered with these hideous abominable headaches for so long.  I can't imagine that.  To keep your positive attitude through it all is amazing and inspiring.  Thank you.

Posted 2/4/2006 10:36 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Mama Mouse, I know exactly what you mean about the dark before dawn and that feeling of the dawn so very far away - or so it seems. I think its time you saw a neurologist and found a different doctor, but then I don't know how easy it is to do that for you, you must feel absolutely drained of everything and it is not easy to keep shouting so someone will take you more seriously as you need to be. Keep hanging in there you are in my prayers,take care Ann
Posted 2/16/2006 5:03 PM (GMT -6)
Have you considered going to a chiropractor?  I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it has sure helped me with me headaches.  Best of luck to you cool
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