my mom is so good, but doesn't understand

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 932
   Posted 4/18/2006 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Tonight while I was gone, my mother got out all my meds and counted them make sure I wasn't taking too much. When I got home she was upset b.c I had taken twice what SHE tought was correct. I then had to explain and show her a form that a doctor gave telling me the amount to take. Now, she wants to give me all my meds "to keep a record". I am a 21 year old. Now, I do live at home and can't pay bills because of my headaches, but she is treating me like i'm a child. She says, "I'm the one who has to drive you to get shot, I'm the one who is up all night listening to you throw up and taking care of you when you are I have a right to do this. I love my mom and I am so gratful she is here for me, but what can I do? she tells me all the time "Your not the only one effected by your migraines". Yes, but I am the one who has the pain physically, and emotionally. Its not easy having to depend on someone else all the time. She just doesn't understand that.
what do I do?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 1308
   Posted 4/19/2006 3:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi AngMichelle, this is a difficult time for you, as an adult you are trying to establish your own independance although living at home, but the flip side is that your Mum loves you so much she probably cannot stand to watch the pain you suffer and wants so badly to do something about it - she cannot control your pain so I wonder if she is trying to control other areas like medication because she is desperate to do something!!

I think mabe its time you both sat down and heard what each other has to say about the situation in a calm non-threatening way, maybe you can find an area of your life at home where Mum can really help you more than taking over your drugs regimen, it may help your Mum to relax a bit about things. Has your Mum read any literature about Migraine and the drugs etc? It might be helpful for her to find out more about migraine etc which may help her feel like she has a part to play! This wretched disease is tough I wouldn't wish it on anyone!! Hang in there girl we are here for you, take care Ann

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 4/23/2006 10:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Your Mother is worried you may overdose. You need to have the doctor reasure her that you have permission to take  meds as you do.
Remember there is hope. I had migrains for 20 years. I never saw my medical records. My doctor was recording extreme high blood pressure and chalking it up to "White Coat syndrome".
I also had an irregular heartbeat. When that was taken care of with medication, my headaches stopped. You need to have tests run, I did have tests, but Doctor thought it was stress or in my head. The high blood pressure medication Benicar also prevents migrains. Of course this is only for people with high blood pressure, taking it when you have normal blood pressure would be useless and even dangerous. Hope this helps.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 1671
   Posted 5/4/2006 7:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a nearly 17 year old who is trying to get her headaches dxd and under control. She's a bright young lady and I allow her to take her own meds. Has she made mistakes or forgotten? Yes, a few times. But so have I with my own meds.

At 21, you are legally an adult and responsible for your own healthcare. She should respect your wishes, and unless there is a reason that you need help, she should let you handle things. There is such a strong love that moms have, and a strong need to take care of and protect their children. It does hurt her that you are hurting and she can't 'fix' your headaches. Maybe the two of you could sit down and have a good talk and find out why she feels she needs to control your meds. Some people are just controlling. Her behavior may make you feel like she's treating you like a child, but I bet that is not her intention at all. Is she really afraid that you will take them wrong? Perhaps she just needs some more reassurance that you are being careful. It's wonderful that she is able to help you since you are unable to be financially on your own, and maybe it would be easier to humor her a little. Maybe there could be some kind of compromise where you are in control of it, and she has a way to check that you are taking it correctly. Maybe if she could explain her reasons behind this, you wouldn't feel so annoyed by it. Sounds like you are trying to show her that you understand how to take them and you didn't make a mistake so I'm not sure why she still feels she needs to control them.

I hope the two of you can talk it out and both of you will be happy with whatever you decide. Good luck!

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