Welcome to Healing Well. I can identify with the fear of the next attack and was consumed with it for years, especially as I was in an abusive relationship at the time and he blamed me for every attack I had. At the time they were 2 or 3 per month. I too suffer with anxiety/ panic and take Propranolol for the migraine. I am in the process now of being assessed by a Neurologist who is a headache specialist, as my attacks are anything from 1 - 5 per week now and attacks can last up to 4 days!
I went through the 'what ifs' for years and still do sometimes. I am on my own now with my 17 year old. The A/P can make the migraine very much worse very quickly, but I think I have got that under control - thankfully my A/P is not too severe just now and I am not treated for it at the moment.
I must say that I had to have a talk with myself in the end saying things like, the migraine is going to come whatever you do, accept it and always be prepared, i.e. make sure you have abortive meds with you at all times. I plan what course of action I am going to take when an attack strikes, my family know exactly what I have to do and accept it which makes me feel supported. All these things help me to feel that I have some control over what happens to me, and makes me feel like I have the control not the migraine, and this has taken a lot of the fear away!!
Have you seen a Neurologist yourself? I have Imigran (Imitrex) injections to abort attacks, what do you have?
I am sorry if this has sounded a little harsh, but I really feel for you and agree this is no fun at all!!! But there is help out there, and you now have us here to support you, the only way from now on for you is up!!! - believe it!!
take care Ann